A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”

Other jokes:

Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.

What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?

How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.

Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!

How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.

What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.

— Почему ты всегда разговариваешь именно о погоде со своим парикмахером?

— А ты что, хочешь, чтобы я беседовал о политике с человеком, который водит опасной бритвой по моей шее?

Ну не знаю, многие люди говорят, что кошки будят их по утрам. Лично моя проводит реанимационные мероприятия.

— Дорогое Армянское Радио, а почему не устраивают марши в защиту тупых? -

Потому что марши проводятся для меньшинств.

Люди снаружи жопы видят жопу. Сидящие внутри видят свет в конце тоннеля...