Best Jokes

What’s New York’s favourite game?

2001 flight simulator

Are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.

What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

My life is like a broken pencil, it’s pointless.

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale

There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”

Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

Ow! you hit the spot!

Yo mama so fat that when i banged her in the jacuzzi there was a level 8 tsunami

It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.

Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening

Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs

What’s the difference between a potted plant and your wife?

The first is easier to bury.

%%whats the difference between my dad and cancer cancer dosent leave you

What’s the difference between apple’s and orphans apples actually get picked

I made a website for orphans but sadly it didn’t have a home page.

Where do mermaids get a job?

At the kelp wanted station

I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.