Best Jokes

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6 August: Top today:

You have to do this and my sister said well I don’t care and I said well you care enough to respond back oh my gosh.

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Family jokes
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I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that

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Hope jokes
6 August: Doctors jokes:

Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”

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In the hospital paralyzed kid: I’m out walks out the room blind kid: you can walk?! mute kid: you can see?! deaf kid: you can talk?! doctor: wut the f(beep)k

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6 August: Job jokes:

The teacher once said to some students?i was an orphan before your principle hired me.? the students said?oof that is sad? the teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance she said?is anyone missing? the students said? your parents.? the teacher got offended and later that day quit her job

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6 August: Hit jokes:

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

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If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?

The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

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6 August: Fat jokes:

I know five fat people and you’re three of them

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YOUR MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE ASKED FOR A WATER BED THEY PUT A BLAKET OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN

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6 August: Dark Humor:

Stephen Hawking’s last words were, “Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down.”

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Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run

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6 August: Puns jokes:

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

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6 August: Fight jokes:

Best way to stop a fight between deaf people? Just turn off the Lights

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Yo mama, so ugly she’s the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

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An handicap and an orphan get into a fight the orphan says at least I have two functional legs the handicap at least two functional parents

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6 August: Fire jokes:

What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

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Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

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6 August: Poor jokes:

Flag of Congo — Kinshasa @osowxvyy I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! i wanted to save him but a local stopped me. “that’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!

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Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed… The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that’s not Bubba. The second friend said he’s burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn’t understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that’s not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don’t know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.

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