Best Jokes

Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”

What’s black and yellow and cant swim?

A School Bus Full Of Orphans

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.

You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.

There was a kidnapping at school…

Don?t worry, he woke up.

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

Whats an orphans favorite roblox game adopt me

What’s New York’s favourite game?

2001 flight simulator

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

What’s the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humon is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans

What’s the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza dosent scream in the oven.

Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”

Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

One time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? – Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.