Best Jokes

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15 December: Top today:

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

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Sea jokes
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My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!

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Computer jokes
15 December: Doctors jokes:

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

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So theres a orphan in a hospital and the doctor walks up and says “sorry kid but this is a family hospital”

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15 December: Fight jokes:

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

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15 December: Priest jokes:

Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.

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What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off

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15 December: Dream jokes:

You don’t have a forehead you have a five head.

You don’t have dreams you have movies.

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The pope drives around in a glass box or as I like to call him a snipers dream

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A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen’t to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered ‘SUPERMAN!!!’. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said "in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said ‘Ole Ole Ole!!!’. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. ‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!’, the teacher boomed. ‘Superman’, the boy replied. ‘WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!’, the teacher continued. ‘In the Barbie Dream House’ ‘GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE! !!’ ‘OLE OLE OLE OLE!’, the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

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15 December: What’s the difference?:

Why doesn’t barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!!!

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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?

They both came in a little behind.

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15 December: High jokes:

I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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15 December: Puns jokes:

I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

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I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

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If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?

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15 December: Transport jokes:

I’ve sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there’s no space on their training programme.

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What’s white, yellow and goes 40 mph?

A train driver’s egg sandwich

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15 December: Job jokes:

Where do mermaids get a job?

At the kelp wanted station

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This isnt an orphan joke but. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

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Why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!

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