Best Jokes
3 September: Top today:
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning…
| What’s the difference? |
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Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was… not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it’s now the not so smart Indian’s turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, “Well I… I followed the train tracks, an… and shot th- the train… bu- but it kept going…”
| Transport jokes |
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3 September: Woman jokes:
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address and my phone number.
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3 September: Green jokes:
What do you call a green camel.
My parents left me.
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3 September: Dark Humor:
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Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every scene has a cast!
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To cheer him up i bought him a walkman
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
3 September: Family jokes:
Gf: Most of time.
Bf: Well it’s either yes or no.
Gf: …
Bf: Well when is it that you don’t love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh…
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2 boys came home for dinner late and their mother asked, “where have you boys been?” 1 of them replied with, “we were all over the neighborhood, we’re mail men now.” Their snobby teen sister said, “well your not real mail men, real mail men use real letters.” Then 1 of the boys said, “actually we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed.”
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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
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3 September: Milk jokes:
Whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake
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3 September: Doctors jokes:
What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong
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You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
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A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
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3 September: Puns jokes:
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
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An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
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3 September: Poor jokes:
Flag of Congo — Kinshasa @osowxvyy I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! i wanted to save him but a local stopped me. “that’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
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Yo mama so old on her birth certificate it said expired yo mama so fat when she sat non a rainbow skittles popped out yo mama so fat when she sat on walmart the prices went down yo mama so poor she chases a garbage htm title=' ugly she made the deviel go to church'>truck with a shopping list yo mama so ugly she made the deviel go to church
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3 September: Transport jokes:
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
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