Best Jokes
10 May: Top today:
| Fat jokes |
* * *
A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it? “ The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore.”
| Family jokes |
A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
10 May: Doctors jokes:
Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.
 |
* * *
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man’s wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What’s the good news? “We managed to save his arm. ” “What’s the bad news?” “We couldn’t save the rest of him.”
|
10 May: Hit jokes:
Q: what’s stronger than family?
A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
|
* * *
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
|
10 May: Priest jokes:
A little girl beinng Girl: “Forgive me Father for I have sinned”
Priest: “What did you do Child?”
Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”
Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”
Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he touched my breast.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he took off my clothes, father.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!”
Priest: (after a few minutes): “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch. ”
Girl: “But father he had AIDS!”
Priest: “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”
 |
* * *
What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off
|
A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
10 May: Straight jokes:
|
* * *
|
10 May: Family jokes:
|
10 May: Green jokes:
|
A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
10 May: What’s the difference?:
What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something
|
* * *
What’s the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass
|
* * *
Q: What’s the difference between me and you? A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
 |
10 May: Game jokes:
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed MOST Wanted.
|
10 May: Stairs jokes:
Why is Steven hawking going to hell not heaven? Because it’s a stair way to heaven not a ramp.
Q:What’s black and white and red all over A: a nun falling down the stairs
|
* * *
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
|
| - up - | << | N E X T! | >> | random |
A d v e r t i s e m e n t: