Best Jokes

Teacher: what’s your favorite animal

Me: Desert Eagle

Teacher:why?

Me:cause it fits in my backpack

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

You realize your in a parodox,until you die,you’ll see yourself die,Murder,Suicide,Old Age,Etc Then your realize your dreaming,but you realize that you die in a dream you die irl

The pope drives around in a glass box or as I like to call him a snipers dream

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? — Butter is difficult to spread.

What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2

I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.

I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

I KNOW IT’S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it’s time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet?

They have to see the food to eat

What do you call a green boner the Grintch

What do you call a Dino stripper?

A dinowhore

Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.