Best Jokes

Why do orphan eat cereal with water

Because dad never came back with the milk

I have a stepladder. my real ladder left for milk and never came back.

Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Last words of the captain of the Titanic… Where’s all this water come from??

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

What’s the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustation

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.

Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature which would he be? A: Adlof-in

What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.

A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)

Yo mama’s so poor I knocked on her front door of her house and realised I was already outside her backyard!

There are three men walking down the road and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm there is a cow a monkey and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money and the farm is going out of business. One of the men’s sees that there is a contest for the biggest

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows. It would have had doors but why was it ever spelt DOS

There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

What’s red green and smells like shit

…red and green shit

What’s green and smells like ham.

Kermit the frogs fingers

You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end

It says enter a joke, but I can’t enter my life.