Best Jokes

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31 January: Top today:

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

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Job jokes
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Why was the train late?

It kept getting side-tracked.

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Transport jokes
31 January: Fire jokes:

Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying

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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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31 January: Stairs jokes:

Me:Have you seen a mr.weewoo Most people:no Me: he drives the ambulance down stairs

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Why did the loo roll roll down the stairs — to get to the bottom What do you call a bear with no teeth — a gummy bear! !!

What’s wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs

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31 January: Dark Humor:

I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig

She started crying

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Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes

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31 January: Milk jokes:

Here’s a better version of a previous joke:

I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!

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What’s the difference between America and a bottle of milk? – In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

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My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.

He never came back

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31 January: Family jokes:

%%Dad: “Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?”

Son: “Nah, mostly men.”

Dad: “Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”

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I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you

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31 January: Life jokes:

What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”

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31 January: Poor jokes:

Kids- its time for dora kids-YAY nick jr host- today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma Swiper- hello kids i am trying to find my way to Diego’s will you please help me Kids- where’s dora Swiper- she’s under cardiac arrest kids — htm title=' Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper - AH MAN!'> poor dora Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper — AH MAN!!

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Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? – Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.

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The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man. You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

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31 January: Priest jokes:

What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer?

A Father in law

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31 January: Job jokes:

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, "I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, "me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock

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