Best Jokes

One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence htm title=' than she said back easy hung it up'>and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up

Q:Whats the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words. “You little bastard!”

Yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born.

The doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell

There’s a stairway to heaven.

Why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired.

I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.