Best Jokes
Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?
| Family jokes |
| Dark Humor |
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on how hard you through them.???
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What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something
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What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
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I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
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A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man’s wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What’s the good news? “We managed to save his arm. ” “What’s the bad news?” “We couldn’t save the rest of him.”
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I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive…
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away.
If you throw it hard enough.
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“I’m sorry,” the doctor says, “you have rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you and you’ll only be fed cheese and bologna.”
“Will that cure me?” the patient asks.
“Well, no,” the doctor replies, “but it’s the only food that will fit under the door.”
%%(Tripple Pun)
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
Raisin are kids is usually pretty fun, but some times they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin.
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What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life
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Why should old womon never eat sea food?
Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.
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I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
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Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD
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