Best Jokes

Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

ME: when I saw an orphan on the street in rags also me: are u okay orphan: yeah what gave it way ME: because you have no family

What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire

Hot wheels

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.

Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

Me:Have you seen a mr.weewoo Most people:no Me: he drives the ambulance down stairs

Sometimes, stairs get me down.

That one person who can never bring a smile to your face…

Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog

Whats green and sticky? … a stick.

Stephen Hawking is intelligent. He is not as green as he is cabbage.

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

I told my friend to watch naruto, it’s been a week since i’ve seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece

I when to the orphans to paint a picture of there parents so they can actually talk to them

One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy ‘Darling how does my dictate’ "

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin Sea.