Best Jokes

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16 April: Top today:

What do you call a green camel.

My parents left me.

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Green jokes
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I walked in to the doctors surgery and and he said to me “pick a star sign any star sign” “I said Capricorn” He said “Nahh you got cancer”

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Doctors jokes
16 April: Puns jokes:

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

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16 April: Computer jokes:

What do you call a crazy computer? Wired.

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16 April: Transport jokes:

Gays are always welcome on my redneck Party Bus. NOT!

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16 April: Dark Humor:

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

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“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” -Charlie Chaplin

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Me: want to play 911

My little brother: what’s that

Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall

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16 April: Fat jokes:

A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: “when people look at you, they think the world’s starving to death”

And the skinny man responds: “when they look at you, they know why”

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Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones

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16 April: Milk jokes:

Does an orphanage have daddy issues

Yes because he didn’t come back form getting the milk

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16 April: Priest jokes:

What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

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16 April: What’s the difference?:

What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

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What’s the difference between a knife and my life?

A knife has a point.

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16 April: Green jokes:

What’s green and smells of bacon???

KERMITS FINGERS??

Why is a cabage green? Because its in Greenland

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