Best Jokes

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13 June: Top today:

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

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Priest jokes
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I know five fat people and you’re three of them

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Fat jokes
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So there I was f@cking my sister and she’s shouts “god you f@ck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”

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Family jokes
13 June: Poor jokes:

ME: when I saw an orphan on the street in rags also me: are u okay orphan: yeah what gave it way ME: because you have no family

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The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man. You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

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13 June: Woman jokes:

A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.

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What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come

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13 June: Puns jokes:

How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

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What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

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Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

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13 June: Computer jokes:

What’s a aliens favorite computer key?

The space bar!

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A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying “I’m arresting you for impersonating an office, sir”

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My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!

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13 June: What’s the difference?:

What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

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13 June: Dark Humor:

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

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A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”

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13 June: Stairs jokes:

Why did the loo roll roll down the stairs — to get to the bottom What do you call a bear with no teeth — a gummy bear! !!

What’s wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs

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I guess grandpa took the elevator to heaven. he definitely didn’t make it up the stairs

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13 June: Family jokes:

I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.

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What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha

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Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the the sower you can’t even see it.

Guy: No I see your sister’s head

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13 June: Waiting jokes:

I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

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My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

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Why was I stress eating on the train track?

To wait to get hit.

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