Best Jokes
20 March: Top today:
You don’t usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: “Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!”
| Transport jokes |
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A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That’s the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”
| Transport jokes |
A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
20 March: Dark Humor:
Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~
1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now
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20 March: Hit jokes:
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
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20 March: Game jokes:
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
20 March: Doctors jokes:
Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.
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Where do sick boats go? – The dock!
There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!
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20 March: Milk jokes:
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
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What do you call a roach in milk? Aroach con leche??
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20 March: Job jokes:
My grief counselor died the other day
He was so good at his job, i don’t even care.
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A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck’s house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn’t easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
20 March: Green jokes:
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Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours…
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20 March: Transport jokes:
One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence htm title=' than she said back easy hung it up'>and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up
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20 March: Hope jokes:
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Roses are red, fishers are fishing, I really hope, you’ll be reported missing.
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