Best Jokes

In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

Whats green and sings? ELVIS PARSELY!!!

What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink … when he finished the doctor told him: from now on take off the spoon.

/en/doctor

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide!??????

Why should old womon never eat sea food?

Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.

If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?

The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.

Ow! you hit the spot!

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked me “is that the best you can do?”

I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried

If your depressed and you crying like this joke

Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours

My dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car

My mom said she will slam me head into my computer of I don’t get of it, I’m not to worried though, I think she is just jhehus,d.kes,jdhcuya71,hshh.jdh

How dd Stephen hawking die

He had a computer virus!

A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying “I’m arresting you for impersonating an office, sir”