Best Jokes

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

So it could have sweet dreams.

A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs? Ground beef

A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery

Boss: “we have to let you go.”

Surgeon: “I protest innocence.”

Boss: “how?”

Surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things. ”

Boss: “get out”

“I work with animals” the man said to his date. his date said “I love a man who works with animals what job is it for the animal” “I am a butcher” said the man

What’s tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)

Why can’t depressed people leave the maze?

Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.

I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11…

Allahu Akbar!

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the the sower you can’t even see it.

Guy: No I see your sister’s head

Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

Minecraft YouTube but I can sing Believer!

YouTube but I making a first video in YouTube.

And I record all the Minecraft Videos and a upload.

Ooohh! To try it and a upload. Ooohh!

I’ve been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.

I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me you told me you told me you told me.

Place some more ender eyes, and it’s time to big surprise.

Why did the silly girl?? put sugar under her pillow?

She wanted to have sweet dreams.??