Best Jokes
23 March: Top today:
| Dream jokes |
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A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid
Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help!
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
| Dark Humor |
A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
23 March: Computer jokes:
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23 March: Doctors jokes:
What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong
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So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: “I’m sorry, you only have ten left.” The other man smiles nervously and asks, “T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him. “Nine.”
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Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…
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23 March: Dark Humor:
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What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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INCLUDING THIS ONE
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
23 March: Family jokes:
I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified
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Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You’re welcome, Backseat.
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My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said “If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away.” the next time my Aunt visited she said “Where is you daughter? ” my Mom said “I took your advice”
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23 March: Waiting jokes:
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
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My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
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23 March: Fight jokes:
Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
23 March: Priest jokes:
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So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
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23 March: Dream jokes:
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”
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23 March: Fire jokes:
Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t: