Best Jokes

Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

Wait isnt this sans job to make a joke?

Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer

Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed

What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth

Me:Have you seen a mr.weewoo Most people:no Me: he drives the ambulance down stairs

What do you call a cow with two legs

Answer: Your mom

911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up

Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like htm title=' even at work like trash cans are everywhere'>when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere

Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was… not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it’s now the not so smart Indian’s turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, “Well I… I followed the train tracks, an… and shot th- the train… bu- but it kept going…”