Best Jokes

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5 July: Top today:

Your mama so fat when Santa saw her he said ho ho holy S***

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Fat jokes
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What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something

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What’s the difference?
5 July: Puns jokes:

Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

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Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

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I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

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5 July: Doctors jokes:

So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: “I’m sorry, you only have ten left.” The other man smiles nervously and asks, “T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him. “Nine.”

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An orphan goes to a doctor. Doctor: Sorry I can’t help you Orphan: But why? Doctor: I’m a family doctor

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Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.

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5 July: Life jokes:

My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.

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5 July: Game jokes:

What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed MOST Wanted.

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5 July: Bar jokes:

So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “alreight so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “ so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says”I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says” so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says” ok here you go” so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink

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5 July: Dark Humor:

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

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Im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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5 July: Dream jokes:

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

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My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

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5 July: High jokes:

I WAS GONNA CLEAN MY ROOM

BEFORE I GOT HIGH

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A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late, his best friend asked, “Would you like to hear a joke?” “Sure” he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common? ’ “I don’t know.” “Because of me you’re both late for your next period.”

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5 July: What’s the difference?:

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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