Best Jokes

What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed MOST Wanted.

Why do bees have sticky hair

They always use honeycombs

A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’

Person: ‘Doctor, doctor I’ve only got 50 seconds to live’

Doctor: ‘Just give me a minute’

What’s tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)

What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.

What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side

What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending.

A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money. Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole. The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money. The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money you worthless old fart.”

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

What do you do when your dish washer stops working

Hit your wife harder

Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.

Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.

Father: I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son: But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.

This boy said get get yo hairline straight I said girls don’t have a hairline how about you go to the barber shop htm title=' times worst then he did the first time.'>and let your barber do your hair 10 times worst then he did the first time.

All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!