Best Jokes

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9 April: Top today:

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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Woman jokes
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A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast. When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the toast god punch line, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man. The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles

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Dream jokes
9 April: Puns jokes:

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

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9 April: Family jokes:

My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.

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My family is like a apple tree my sister is that ugly one that has to ruin in

What do tampons and your sister have in common!

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How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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9 April: Fire jokes:

Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying

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9 April: Game jokes:

What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

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9 April: Doctors jokes:

So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: “I’m sorry, you only have ten left.” The other man smiles nervously and asks, “T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him. “Nine.”

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I walked in to the doctors surgery and and he said to me “pick a star sign any star sign” “I said Capricorn” He said “Nahh you got cancer”

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9 April: Job jokes:

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

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9 April: Sea jokes:

Why should old womon never eat sea food?

Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.

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If seagulls fly over the sea what flies over the bay

Bagels

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9 April: Dark Humor:

My grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen.

No witnessess

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Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”

Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs

Cash and carry

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9 April: Stairs jokes:

What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending.

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Why do i love a block? because i can fall off the stairs

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Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.

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