Best Jokes

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1 February: Top today:

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale

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Hit jokes
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How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.

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Family jokes
1 February: Dark Humor:

I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions

Onions was a good dog

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I remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

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1 February: High jokes:

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?

Asking for a friend.

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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?

It left him hanging

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1 February: Transport jokes:

What do you call a train that stalls?

The little engine that couldn’t!

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A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That’s the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”

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1 February: Priest jokes:

What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.

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They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

Thou shalt not f… altar boys

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1 February: Straight jokes:

Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes

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1 February: Bar jokes:

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, “Who’s the toughest guy in here?” The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom. Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, “Who’s the toughest guy in here tonight?” The bartender points to the bathroom and says he’s in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, “What happened in there?” Jim smiles and says, “I don’t know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket int the toilet.”

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1 February: Game jokes:

What’s a orphan favourite game?

GTA because there actually wanted?

Lol

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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

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It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.

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1 February: Hit jokes:

If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run

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1 February: Puns jokes:

What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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