You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said,?You look like a million pounds!? The wife divorced him.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.