Best Jokes

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6 May: Top today:

I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

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High jokes
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What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something

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What’s the difference?
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Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

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Family jokes
6 May: Dark Humor:

Me: Mom I’m tired

Mom:then go to sleep

Me: No you don’t understand-

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Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

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6 May: Paint jokes:

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on how hard you through them.???

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6 May: Game jokes:

What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

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I wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game… oh wait he cant

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6 May: Hope jokes:

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

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6 May: Family jokes:

Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

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6 May: Sea jokes:

Why should old womon never eat sea food?

Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.

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What do you call under water maid A mermaid

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6 May: Life jokes:

All you need is a Razor Blade in life.

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6 May: What’s the difference?:

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

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6 May: Fight jokes:

So i saw two homeless people on the road fight i said stop fighting and go home i gess it was a little insensitive

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