Best Jokes

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30 January: Top today:

One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy ‘Darling how does my dictate’ "

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Little Johnny
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Michael Jakson gets really ill so he’s rushed to hospital. When they get there he says ‘am i in heaven?’ The doctor replies ‘Nah sir we’re just taking a quick shortcut through the children’s ward.’

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Doctors jokes
30 January: Dark Humor:

I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

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I wish i could be as visible as my depression is.

My future is so bright, i need a flashlight to see where i’m going

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I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed

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30 January: Hell jokes:

NINA YOU BETTER RUN TO HELL YOUR GOING THERE ANYWAY!!! YOU DONT BE MEAN TO ALEX!!! HE IS SWEET KIND LOVING AND PROTECTIVE!!!

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30 January: Nut jokes:

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

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30 January: Puns jokes:

You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

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Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He just couldn’t see that well.

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How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

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30 January: Milk jokes:

What is the worst part of milking a cow?

The smell of the dairy air.

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Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

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My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.

He never came back

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30 January: Hit jokes:

What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor

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30 January: Family jokes:

Knock knock who there interrupting cow interrupting cow moo???

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My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked me “is that the best you can do?”

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Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping.

Father: Sorry

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30 January: Fat jokes:

Life is like a box of chocolate, it doesn’t last long if you’re fat

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Fun fact: The body positivity movement, is the only movement without any actual movement

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30 January: What’s the difference?:

What’s the difference between a potted plant and your wife?

The first is easier to bury.

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Whats The Difference Between A Rabi And A Priest One Cuts Them Off And One Sucks Them Off

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What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

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