Best Jokes

What’s the difference between an ISIS training center and a school??

I don’t know, I just fly the drone

Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

What’s the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

Mr smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr smith have

Tell me answers in comment box

My mom is telling me get off friday night funkin or she will slam my head aginst the keybore weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows. It would have had doors but why was it ever spelt DOS

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, "I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, "me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock

One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. — Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’

Ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’

I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house." Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-" Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?

Asking for a friend.

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Right where you left it.

What is different about priests and acne.

Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face

The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

I cant wait to see Uranus??

Only one of Kenny’s girlfriends has ever said he’s good in bed. But she has to. She’s his mom.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.