Best Jokes

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23 December: Top today:

I’ve sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there’s no space on their training programme.

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Transport jokes
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Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes

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Straight jokes
23 December: Doctors jokes:

Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.

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23 December: Sea jokes:

What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

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23 December: Woman jokes:

Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

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Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.

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23 December: Waiting jokes:

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

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A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: “Give me your money.” The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: “But, wait! You can’t do that, I am a Congressman!” The thief replies: “Oh, sorry. Give me MY money.”

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23 December: Puns jokes:

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

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The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar…

It was tense.

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When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’

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23 December: Family jokes:

Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

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What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha

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So Kenny finally found his one true love. But he can’t be with her because it’s illegal to marry your sister.

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23 December: Dark Humor:

A mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.

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Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried

If your depressed and you crying like this joke

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The depressed kid went to high five the tree… but the tree left them hanging…

Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.

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23 December: Fight jokes:

So i saw two homeless people on the road fight i said stop fighting and go home i gess it was a little insensitive

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23 December: Stairs jokes:

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven

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