Best Jokes

What’s green and smells of bacon???

KERMITS FINGERS??

Why is a cabage green? Because its in Greenland

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?

Because he was hit by a bus.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.

What do you call a crazy computer? Wired.

Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth

I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

Whats the difference between a feminist and a pencil? One of them has a POINT:)

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg

Whats the difference between a bmw and a porcupine

Unlike the porcupine the pricks are on the inside

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.

Give Kobe a plane ticket, he’ll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

I’M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!

Before Marriage Boy:At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don’t even thing about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy?? After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.