Best Jokes

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19 January: Top today:

Q: what’s stronger than family?

A: whatever tree Paul walker hit

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Hit jokes
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Why don’t cows have any money?

Because farmers milk them dry.

The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me …how dairy

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Milk jokes
19 January: Puns jokes:

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

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What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

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19 January: Poor jokes:

So my friends birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.

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Yo mama is so poor i saw her kicking a can and i ask her what was she doing and she said moving.

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Jay and Andrew, are best friends whom are almost alike, the difference between them both is Jay is poor and well…Andrew on the other hand is suck-a-dick-poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes-up in his room, walks to the kitchen and asks his mom Lisa (I call her Lisa now btw) if there is anything to eat, “No bitch!” She replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed. Now Andrew…wakes-up jumps out of bed and he’s in the kitchen, he sees his mom fixing some for work, after a long hard night of giving her husband blue-balls, “Anything left for me Mother?” Andrew asks “Sorry Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again.” *so she goes to work taking her time * Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself “Man…I’d suck a dick for some water right now.” his mom storms back after hearing what he had said "I’ll buy you a soda if u do my first customer for me!!! "

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19 January: Family jokes:

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

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My Daughter is Super Smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor

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19 January: Dark Humor:

Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who they gonna cry too? their parents?

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Me: want to play 911

My little brother: what’s that

Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall

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I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

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19 January: Doctors jokes:

Old man goes to the doctor. The doctor says “The test results are back, and I’m sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer’s.”. The old man says “Phew! At least it’s not cancer!”

I’m a Model. my doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram. (Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts

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The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

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My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

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19 January: Computer jokes:

There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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19 January: Game jokes:

What is a tornado favorite game?

Twister!

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19 January: Ex jokes:

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you!

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My ex got hit by a bus yesterday.i nearly lost my job

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19 January: Priest jokes:

What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

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A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f —————

ing boats and you didn’t take them! "

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