Best Jokes

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

You realize your in a parodox,until you die,you’ll see yourself die,Murder,Suicide,Old Age,Etc Then your realize your dreaming,but you realize that you die in a dream you die irl

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet?

They have to see the food to eat

What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2

I KNOW IT’S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it’s time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

Teacher: what’s your favorite animal

Me: Desert Eagle

Teacher:why?

Me:cause it fits in my backpack

I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.

In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

What do you call a Dino stripper?

A dinowhore

Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes.

But joke time…

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life… it’s not you … it’s me!!!