Best Jokes

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16 June: Top today:

Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me:??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me:???. My depression:?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.

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Dark Humor
16 June: Woman jokes:

Me: Are you okay?

Dentist: I’m just a bit surprised. When I said to you “spit it out” I wasn’t expecting you to say you’ve been shagging my wife.

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My girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time

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16 June: Life jokes:

All you need is a Razor Blade in life.

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My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.

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Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.

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16 June: What’s the difference?:

Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

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16 June: Job jokes:

My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.

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I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”

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16 June: Nut jokes:

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

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When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table 25+ kill streak

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16 June: Doctors jokes:

My doctor said “you have 1year to live”

I said " you wanna bet"

Bam a gun shot

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Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.

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What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

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16 June: Transport jokes:

What’s the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustation

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You mama is like train tracks she gets laid all around the country

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16 June: Sea jokes:

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

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16 June: Family jokes:

How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!

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