Best Jokes

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29 January: Top today:

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

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Waiting jokes
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You don’t have a forehead you have a five head.

You don’t have dreams you have movies.

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Dream jokes
29 January: Computer jokes:

My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!

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Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?

A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he’s still trying to back out of the driveway.

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29 January: Dark Humor:

I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated

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Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists

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You tell an orphan joke to an orphan you start laughing they start crying they say they are going to tell their mom then you start laughing harder

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29 January: Puns jokes:

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

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I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

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I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

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29 January: Transport jokes:

I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

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Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?

He mist.

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29 January: Doctors jokes:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away… Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough…???

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I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

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So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. “Doctor,” say Satan. “What is it?” The doctor sighs. “Well, it’s not a boy, and it’s not a girl.” Satan looks frustrated. “THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?” The doctor looks up. “It’s a goose.”

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29 January: Family jokes:

Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van?

Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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29 January: Milk jokes:

Why did the kid cry? his dad didn’t get the milk

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29 January: Poor jokes:

Poor Stephen Hawking couldnt pass the?im not a robot? test

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Hey guys todays funnyiest prank: Is when I poored a bunch of red whine into the chicken salad…to be honest and was a TON of whine I purded in there! My family could not tell the dirfense at all! Anyway bye thats the prankster! Next time or see time next!

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29 January: High jokes:

Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man…because he loves to leave asains hanging

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