Best Jokes

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31 January: Top today:

Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying

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Fire jokes
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Me:Have you seen a mr.weewoo Most people:no Me: he drives the ambulance down stairs

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Stairs jokes
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Here’s a better version of a previous joke:

I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!

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Milk jokes
31 January: Transport jokes:

Why was the train late?

It kept getting side-tracked.

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I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

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31 January: Life jokes:

What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”

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31 January: Dark Humor:

I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig

She started crying

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Suicide is never the answer Suicide is the question The answer is yes

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31 January: Job jokes:

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

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A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, "I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, "me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock

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31 January: Family jokes:

%%Dad: “Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?”

Son: “Nah, mostly men.”

Dad: “Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”

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I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you

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31 January: Priest jokes:

What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer?

A Father in law

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31 January: Puns jokes:

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

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31 January: Poor jokes:

Kids- its time for dora kids-YAY nick jr host- today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma Swiper- hello kids i am trying to find my way to Diego’s will you please help me Kids- where’s dora Swiper- she’s under cardiac arrest kids — htm title=' Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper - AH MAN!'> poor dora Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper — AH MAN!!

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Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? – Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.

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The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man. You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

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31 January: Milk jokes:

What’s the difference between America and a bottle of milk? – In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

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My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.

He never came back

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