Best Jokes
| Fat jokes |
What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
| Doctors jokes |
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
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Friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
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Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.
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How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
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Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
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Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
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911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up
Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
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A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating. ” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”
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I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke. KA-DOOM-CHA
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Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”
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What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller.
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