Best Jokes
12 March: Top today:
Why is Steven hawking going to hell not heaven? Because it’s a stair way to heaven not a ramp.
Q:What’s black and white and red all over A: a nun falling down the stairs
| Stairs jokes |
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| Computer jokes |
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12 March: What’s the difference?:
What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
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12 March: Sea jokes:
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12 March: Job jokes:
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, "I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, "me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
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Wait isnt this sans job to make a joke?
Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer
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12 March: Puns jokes:
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.
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If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?
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12 March: Priest jokes:
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
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Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they’d given to their elderly mum.
‘I built a big house for our mum,’ said the first.
‘I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,’ said the second.
And the third smiled and said, ‘I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren’t so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.’
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
‘The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.’
To the second son she said, ‘I’m far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I’ve hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.’
To the third son she wrote ‘Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!’
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12 March: Dream jokes:
Minecraft YouTube but I can sing Believer!
YouTube but I making a first video in YouTube.
And I record all the Minecraft Videos and a upload.
Ooohh! To try it and a upload. Ooohh!
I’ve been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.
I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me you told me you told me you told me.
Place some more ender eyes, and it’s time to big surprise.
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When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
12 March: Game jokes:
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12 March: Fire jokes:
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Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE
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12 March: Waiting jokes:
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(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing)
Man: Ah… suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I’ll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore…
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