Best Jokes

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11 February: Top today:

Your mama so fat when Santa saw her he said ho ho holy S***

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Fat jokes
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What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

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Doctors jokes
11 February: Hit jokes:

If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run

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Friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

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11 February: Puns jokes:

Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

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How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

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11 February: Dark Humor:

Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”

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Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle

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911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up

Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees

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11 February: Green jokes:

When do you go on red and stop at green A watermelon

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11 February: Life jokes:

Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life

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Thankfully I’m still alive because I fail at everything in life.

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11 February: Doctors jokes:

A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating. ” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”

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11 February: Stick jokes:

Sticks and stones may break my bones but a crowbar could do it so much quicker

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I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke. KA-DOOM-CHA

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11 February: Poor jokes:

My grandfather died at atshuitz Poor fella fell of the guard tower

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My mom was poor so we had nothing to eat me sleep on the floor but now I’m rich rich rich??

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11 February: Fat jokes:

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”

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What do you call a fat psychic?

A four chin teller.

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