Best Jokes

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15 July: Top today:

I like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey

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Woman jokes
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A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT

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Computer jokes
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My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.

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Waiting jokes
15 July: What’s the difference?:

You wanna know what’s the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? “a refrigerator doesn’t moan when I put my meat in it”

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What do turtles and lesbians have in common they both choke on plastic

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15 July: Dark Humor:

If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

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Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me:??. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me:???. My depression:?? dont worry I’ll always be here for you.

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Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??

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15 July: Smoking jokes:

What do you call Mexican that smokes weed.a Baked bean

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15 July: Puns jokes:

Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.

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I’m the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah.

Now for my joke… Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands…

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A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

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15 July: Hell jokes:

[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.

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15 July: High jokes:

The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging

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I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

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How do you know if you have a high sperm count?? She chews before she swallows

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15 July: Transport jokes:

You don’t usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: “Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!”

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15 July: Woman jokes:

Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise

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15 July: Game jokes:

What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

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I was born and raised in Newcastle. My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium

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