Best Jokes

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5 April: Top today:

I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday

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Puns jokes
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Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

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Dream jokes
5 April: Job jokes:

I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.

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A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills. ” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.

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5 April: Bar jokes:

So a neutron went to a bar, he asked the bartender how much for a beer, the bartender said, " For you, NO charge."

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5 April: Doctors jokes:

So theres a orphan in a hospital and the doctor walks up and says “sorry kid but this is a family hospital”

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So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: “I’m sorry, you only have ten left.” The other man smiles nervously and asks, “T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him. “Nine.”

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My doctor said “you have 1year to live”

I said " you wanna bet"

Bam a gun shot

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5 April: Computer jokes:

Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

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5 April: Family jokes:

What do you call you’re daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?

An ambulance

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My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

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5 April: Green jokes:

What’s green and smells like bacon?

Kermit’s finger.

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When do you go on red and stop at green A watermelon

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What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?

Green bay packers & New England Patriots

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5 April: Sea jokes:

Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature which would he be? A: Adlof-in

What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.

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Why does it take sooo long for the pirates to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years on c pirate: a b sea?

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5 April: High jokes:

What talks high pitched and can’t fly?

A gay man in Iran

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What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns

The suicide squad

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5 April: What’s the difference?:

What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.

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What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor

The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.

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