Best Jokes
It says enter a joke, but I can’t enter my life.
| Life jokes |
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies
I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage
| What’s the difference? |
Gf: Most of time.
Bf: Well it’s either yes or no.
Gf: …
Bf: Well when is it that you don’t love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh…
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Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
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I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
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(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
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What is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?
…a girl scout that got hit by a car
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My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.
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The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
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Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.
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What is different about priests and acne.
Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face
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One day the teacher asks a boy why can’t fish talk underwater. The Kid says " If I put your head underwater will you be able to talk.
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When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
‘PNEIS’
And form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered ‘SPINE’ are doctors.
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Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
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