Best Jokes

Can some hot depressed suicidal guh give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die…

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

Yo mama so poor, she buys used food.

I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me

My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him

Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent!

Orphan: -no response-

You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end

Why is Steven hawking going to hell not heaven? Because it’s a stair way to heaven not a ramp.

Q:What’s black and white and red all over A: a nun falling down the stairs

Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening

Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

So if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink … when he finished the doctor told him: from now on take off the spoon.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said…

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

I had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda

Turns out it was a fanta sea