Best Jokes

I still remember my dad’s last words "don’t worry son, Allah will be pleased"

I when to the orphans to paint a picture of there parents so they can actually talk to them

What do Chinese parents hate the most?

A new born daughter…

Daughter: Dad, what’s your opinion on abortions?

Dad: Ask your sister

Daughter: But I don’t have a sister

Dad: Exactly

What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side

What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.

Whats the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows?

Nothing i slit both of them

Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. “What’s in the box?”, the priest asks. “Christian kittens”, the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. “Ask her what she has in the box”, he says, “It’s the cutest thing!” The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. “Atheist kittens”, she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were “Christian kittens! !!” “They were”, she says. “Now their eyes are open”.

A priest is drowning in a river… A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says “leave me alone, god will save me.” The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn’t you save me. " God said "I sent you three f —————

ing boats and you didn’t take them! "

Why do bees have sticky hair

They always use honeycombs

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

Kids- its time for dora kids-YAY nick jr host- today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma Swiper- hello kids i am trying to find my way to Diego’s will you please help me Kids- where’s dora Swiper- she’s under cardiac arrest kids — htm title=' Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper - AH MAN!'> poor dora Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper — AH MAN!!

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?

Because he was hit by a bus.

What’s the difference between America and a bottle of milk? – In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

Yo dad’s so stupid he came back after he got the milk.

What’s a orphan favourite game?

GTA because there actually wanted?

Lol

What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong

Michael Jakson gets really ill so he’s rushed to hospital. When they get there he says ‘am i in heaven?’ The doctor replies ‘Nah sir we’re just taking a quick shortcut through the children’s ward.’

I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive…

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away.

If you throw it hard enough.