Best Jokes

What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.

Me:Have you seen a mr.weewoo Most people:no Me: he drives the ambulance down stairs

Why don’t oysters share their pearls?

Because they’re shellfish!

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man’s wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What’s the good news? “We managed to save his arm. ” “What’s the bad news?” “We couldn’t save the rest of him.”

“Doctor, I’m shrinking!” “Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”

When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters

‘PNEIS’

And form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered ‘SPINE’ are doctors.

What do you call a crazy computer? Wired.

Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

I WAS GONNA CLEAN MY ROOM

BEFORE I GOT HIGH

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!:D

I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.

That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night they don’t have a dad to go with.

What’s green and smells of bacon???

KERMITS FINGERS??

Why is a cabage green? Because its in Greenland

If trump colored his hair green and weared a orange shirt and pants i will call him a carrot