Best Jokes

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

%%Rules of Dark humor:

All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

Sincerely, Zane

Yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice

My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

What’s green then red all over?

A frog in a blender!:)

What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time? " The woman replies “It’s been a while since a man has asked me that.”

What did the fork say to the cake when he said i hope u get eaten

Fork off

Why did the loo roll roll down the stairs — to get to the bottom What do you call a bear with no teeth — a gummy bear! !!

What’s wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs

What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs? Ground beef

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He just couldn’t see that well.

R u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)