Best Jokes

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

So a neutron went to a bar, he asked the bartender how much for a beer, the bartender said, " For you, NO charge."

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

Person A:Hey,what’s the next subject? Person B:Let me check. Person B:It’s greenglish!

What do you call a green camel.

My parents left me.

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

/en/doctor

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT

My wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the f@ck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it.

Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?..

He has no legs…

What do you come a dog with no legs? It don’t matter what you it, cause it ain’t gonna come to you.