Best Jokes

People are like potatoes.

We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it

So this gu named andrew furda was my boy friend for like a half a week so five days then bam i cut my hair he only liked me for my looks and htm title=' if u see dis u going down andrew!'>i hoped he regrets it because it is WAR so if u see dis u going down andrew!

What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies

I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage

Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

John: hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming

Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery

Boss: “we have to let you go.”

Surgeon: “I protest innocence.”

Boss: “how?”

Surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things. ”

Boss: “get out”

What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin’ B. Anthony!

Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening

Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades, and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

What can fly underwater:A mosquito in a submerine

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

Why cant the orphan play the game of life? they dont know what a family road trip is.??

The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.