Best Jokes
1 January: Top today:
Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector
| Woman jokes |
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Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was… not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it’s now the not so smart Indian’s turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, “Well I… I followed the train tracks, an… and shot th- the train… bu- but it kept going…”
| Transport jokes |
A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
1 January: Job jokes:
The teacher once said to some students?i was an orphan before your principle hired me.? the students said?oof that is sad? the teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance she said?is anyone missing? the students said? your parents.? the teacher got offended and later that day quit her job
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John: hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming
Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am
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1 January: Milk jokes:
Does an orphanage have daddy issues
Yes because he didn’t come back form getting the milk
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Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again
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Why didnt the cows eat the lemon grass.
It made sour milk.
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1 January: Puns jokes:
If trees could kill you, they wood.
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They always use honeycombs
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My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
1 January: Hit jokes:
Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone…
He got hit by a train
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Why did the kid drop his icecream?
He got hit by a bus.
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1 January: What’s the difference?:
Why doesn’t barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!!!
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You wanna know what’s the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? “a refrigerator doesn’t moan when I put my meat in it”
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What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
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1 January: Fat jokes:
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning
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Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don’t pick it up.
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
1 January: Priest jokes:
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.
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Whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest
Nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
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1 January: Family jokes:
Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …
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Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!
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1 January: Dark Humor:
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My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
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