Best Jokes
28 August: Top today:
Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole
| Nut jokes |
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Why is Steven hawking going to hell not heaven? Because it’s a stair way to heaven not a ramp.
Q:What’s black and white and red all over A: a nun falling down the stairs
| Stairs jokes |
A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
28 August: Dark Humor:
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28 August: Game jokes:
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28 August: Priest jokes:
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
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Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
28 August: Waiting jokes:
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
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My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one
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Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I’m doing fine. We are just looking for a home:3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok… mhmmm… WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn’t Read it…) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn’t know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny:() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon!:3 Me now hates my life.:)
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28 August: What’s the difference?:
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
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How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
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28 August: Ex jokes:
Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)
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Can’t anyone relate to this? BEAT WATERSHARKY!!! -Oops!-By- Air Attack Productions and Yung Gravy-Ayy, supercalifragilisticexpiali dope shit Supercalifragi lick my ex be on some ho shit Superman, I get dem bands but ain’t gon’ buy you roses Super-duper get them cougars, took my wrist and froze it Super-duper hoes Y’all got Oompa Loompa hoes
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t:
28 August: Stick jokes:
I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
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A stick. Get your head out of the gutters…Jeez.
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28 August: Dream jokes:
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”
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28 August: Family jokes:
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
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Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A:He only comes once a year.
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A d v e r t i s e m e n t: