Best Jokes

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18 January: Top today:

Yo mamas so fat that she doesn’t need internet cause she is already world wide

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Fat jokes
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What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train!

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Transport jokes
18 January: Family jokes:

Daughter: Dad, what’s your opinion on abortions?

Dad: Ask your sister

Daughter: But I don’t have a sister

Dad: Exactly

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What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2

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My Daughter is Super Smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor

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18 January: Milk jokes:

Yo dad’s so stupid he came back after he got the milk.

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A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”

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Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

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18 January: Hit jokes:

I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down

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Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

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18 January: Job jokes:

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

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18 January: Puns jokes:

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

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I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

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You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

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18 January: Sea jokes:

Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet?

They have to see the food to eat

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Why is the sea salty because it is always blue??(?’?’?)

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18 January: Doctors jokes:

Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either

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A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe

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18 January: Woman jokes:

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born.

The doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

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Two men were talking about their wives

The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

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My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”

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18 January: Dark Humor:

Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

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What is the difference between a Old Chest and a kid?

One doesn’t cry when you drop it in the basement.

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