Best Jokes

Why can’t depressed people leave the maze?

Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

So it could have sweet dreams.

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the the sower you can’t even see it.

Guy: No I see your sister’s head

Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.

What’s tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.

What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs? Ground beef

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. – The odds were against me.

A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery

Boss: “we have to let you go.”

Surgeon: “I protest innocence.”

Boss: “how?”

Surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things. ”

Boss: “get out”

“I work with animals” the man said to his date. his date said “I love a man who works with animals what job is it for the animal” “I am a butcher” said the man

I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.

What game did Al-Qaeda Play With The Twin Towers On September 11th 2001? Jenga.