Best Jokes

Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either

Why did the orphan wait in line? To see their parents next

As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.

You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.

A man goes into a job interview and sits down. The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there’s a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?" The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!" The interviewer is impressed and says, "That’s great! You’re hired! " The man smiles. “Really? I’m so glad, because I really need this Yob.”

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.

I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.

What is the worst part of milking a cow?

The smell of the dairy air.

Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.

What fell down the tree first the emo or the apple

Guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging

Yo mama is so fat it took Nation Wide 15 years to get on her side.

What do you say to a fat Asian? you got more chins then a Chinese phone book