Best Jokes

So a neutron went to a bar, he asked the bartender how much for a beer, the bartender said, " For you, NO charge."

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

What’s the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

Whats green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger.

Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal part the balloon came out green.

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.

What do you call a high school student? Alone and depressed.

Luca’s Mom & Dad Be throwing the kids into the Fountain in the city but there sea monster so if the went to jail for that the would be on death row anyways.??

Why is the sea salty? because the land never waves back

What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?

A sea minor.

What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said one at a time please.

What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat, you get Fat.

What? were you expecting a pi joke?

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.

It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.

Why cant the orphan play the game of life? they dont know what a family road trip is.??

My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.

So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.

What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?

Showing them the ropes.