Best Jokes

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13 July: Top today:

Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

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Priest jokes
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I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and seen a baby pig and told her look its pepa pig

She started crying

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Dark Humor
13 July: Dream jokes:

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

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13 July: Life jokes:

Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life

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13 July: Puns jokes:

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!:D

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13 July: Doctors jokes:

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink … when he finished the doctor told him: from now on take off the spoon.

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A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.

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13 July: Transport jokes:

One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence htm title=' than she said back easy hung it up'>and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

Because he got hit by a bus!

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What is green and looks like a school bus

A school bus

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13 July: Fat jokes:

A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: “when people look at you, they think the world’s starving to death”

And the skinny man responds: “when they look at you, they know why”

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Yo momma so fat that when she crossed the road people mistook her for a roundabout.

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I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

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13 July: Job jokes:

Where do mermaids get a job?

At the kelp wanted station

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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care

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(To a mexican person) When i first met you I thought you were going to say,My name is enrique i have a job for you.

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13 July: Dark Humor:

Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

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13 July: Poor jokes:

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor

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We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

“This isn’t the first time my husband’s cheated on me, but you’re my sister! You’d better have a better explanation than this magic lamp.”

“You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world’s biggest penis…ended up with a concert pianist that’s seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world’s biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world’s biggest dick and that’s how I ended up on top of your husband.”

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Poor Stephen Hawking couldnt pass the?im not a robot? test

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