Best Jokes

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25 April: Top today:

What’s green then red all over?

A frog in a blender!:)

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Green jokes
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So my friends birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.

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Poor jokes
25 April: Dark Humor:

I remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

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What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging

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They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry

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25 April: What’s the difference?:

What’s the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid

Depends who’s shooting

What is the difference between an orphan and a apple?

Well at least one gets picked

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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

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25 April: Doctors jokes:

Old man goes to the doctor. The doctor says “The test results are back, and I’m sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer’s.”. The old man says “Phew! At least it’s not cancer!”

I’m a Model. my doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram. (Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts

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A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he’s sitting the the doctor’s office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, “I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer’s. ” The man replies, “well, at least I don’t have cancer.”

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25 April: Hit jokes:

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

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I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse

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25 April: Puns jokes:

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

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I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

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What do you call a Russian tree?

Dimitree

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25 April: Dream jokes:

When I was a little boy I had this dream I was eating a giant marshmallow

When I woke I was being sexually abused

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I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st… XD

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25 April: Job jokes:

I just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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My grief counselor died the other day

He was so good at his job, i don’t even care.

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25 April: Family jokes:

My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media — it was a picture of me.

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My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said “If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away.” the next time my Aunt visited she said “Where is you daughter? ” my Mom said “I took your advice”

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25 April: Life jokes:

What’s a depressed person’s least favorite type of cereal???

LIFE

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What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”

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