Best Jokes
What is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?
…a girl scout that got hit by a car
| Green jokes |
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
| Dark Humor |
Gf: Most of time.
Bf: Well it’s either yes or no.
Gf: …
Bf: Well when is it that you don’t love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh…
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It says enter a joke, but I can’t enter my life.
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What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies
I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage
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What’s the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
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What is different about priests and acne.
Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face
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The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
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Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.
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My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.
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I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
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(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."
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There are three men walking down the road and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm there is a cow a monkey and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money and the farm is going out of business. One of the men’s sees that there is a contest for the biggest
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