Best Jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

Sometimes, stairs get me down.

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT

My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”

What do you call Mexican that smokes weed.a Baked bean

What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed MOST Wanted.

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

All you need is a Razor Blade in life.

What do you call a green camel.

My parents left me.

Whats green and sings? ELVIS PARSELY!!!

What’s green then red all over and goes 100mph?

A frog in a blender

My grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen.

No witnessess

Does an orphanage have daddy issues

Yes because he didn’t come back form getting the milk