Best Jokes

I have a pun, but I will nut-tella you!

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows. It would have had doors but why was it ever spelt DOS

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

/en/doctor

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink … when he finished the doctor told him: from now on take off the spoon.

Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!

The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up??.

A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid

Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help!

Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?

The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.

Q:What was hellen kellers favorite game as a kid A:musical chairs

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.

After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?”

“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”

What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2

Whats green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger.

If red get vote out whit happed

red is not vote red is a hacker so he kill blue ok so

Some one fondy blue boddy red sud where

Lime and green and prup sud how is red not die

red am a hacker u noobs

Lime and grenn and prup run

red killd therem all red the win but he is not the win

Black killd red black is the win lol

What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?

Green bay packers & New England Patriots

I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime

Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: … oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.

A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’