Best Jokes

Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny, a pleasant air to visit as a family. Don’t you think they are not evil creatures and do you think they have them? “No, there are no gost or evil creatures.” You can say that, but don’t be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that’s not real. WRONG. Gina’s real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that’s why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on istagram, facebook and the worst jokes on the site.

Gina Claw Scare loved fire. Which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time! They buried her on a loan in the forest. That caught fire. “HARSH MAN!” I know right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone’s screaming. And then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER

What’s the difference between a potted plant and your wife?

The first is easier to bury.

What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn’t brown the meat.

My wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf

What do you do when your dish washer stops working

Hit your wife harder

Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.

The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed

How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

What’s tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

What do you call a reverse exorsism. It’s where a demon pulls a priest out of a child

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they’d given to their elderly mum.

‘I built a big house for our mum,’ said the first.

‘I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,’ said the second.

And the third smiled and said, ‘I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren’t so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.’

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

‘The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.’

To the second son she said, ‘I’m far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I’ve hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.’

To the third son she wrote ‘Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!’

What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

What is a tornado favorite game?

Twister!

I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.