Best Jokes

Your mama so fat when Santa saw her he said ho ho holy S***

What’s the difference between an ISIS training center and a school??

I don’t know, I just fly the drone

What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong

So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: “I’m sorry, you only have ten left.” The other man smiles nervously and asks, “T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him. “Nine.”

Yo mamas so poor the ducks through bread at her

What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans

How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!

My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.

Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

Why did the carrots laugh?

They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

What is 14 inches long and starts with D

A Dookie From GREEN DAY

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can’t be trusted).

I gatherd some slapies.

The things I gatherd where Tomatos, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried out green beans! all that stuff! To the 4.

I need the tomatos to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish…WRONG!!! I am going to make it into a little snack…anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eye’s cry and burn but I will give them a towl after that. The dried out green beens are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that we make it like its not so iky!

I feed it to them! They overreacted! Please leave a comment. Byee!

How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.

Jack took jill up a hill to have a picknic but jack and jill got drunk they then jill unzipped jacks fly then said you know you want me to he said yes so she took off her dress and bra jack took his pants and shirt off to they both went in the well together and playd a game jacks candy stick in jills candy stick next jill was suking jacks candy stick while jack licked htm title=' sat on jacks candy stick while making out'>and sucked her candy stick then jill sat on jacks candy stick while making out

Whats the diffrence between my dad and the milk man

The milk man comes back with the god damn milk

Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

Why the "hell:) " is this here

[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.

I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters but it just wouldn’t land with people…

I know, I’m going to hell…