Best Jokes

Why does a leaf fall faster thanan emo kid because the emo hang itself

Yo mamas so poor the ducks through bread at her

Yo mama so fat that when i banged her in the jacuzzi there was a level 8 tsunami

When do you go on red and stop at green A watermelon

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.

What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed MOST Wanted.

You walk in to a old ran down house and you see that a light is on you walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room and you run to the exit to leave but when you get to the door somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go in to the house more and you see another room with a light on so you go in when you go In “flip” all the light go off then yo7 see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says “let the game show begin” yiu see other people next to you and they seem scared then a wall comes down yiu see a optical cores and yi7 go on and then a chainsaw comes at yiu and it misses you but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies

Part two comeing soon this is inspired by the scp foundation have a nice summer

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

What can fly underwater:A mosquito in a submerine

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

Things you never want to do in jail

Never piss off an inmate

Don’t start fights with the cops

Don’t drop the soap

Don’t run away from the cops

How did Stephen hawking die. He lost a water gun fight

Ow! you hit the spot!

Can i put deez nuts in yo cluts?

My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward

Did you hear about Alicia’s car accident? She was really drunk and all over the road Until she was all over the road.

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”