Best Jokes
| Fat jokes |
Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!
| Dark Humor |
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
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They always use honeycombs
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How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
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I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me
Let go of my nose
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Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??
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What do priest and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
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Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
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What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate
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Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!??
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Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: “Can i have some milk?” He waited for three hours to get an answer. His mom finally said: “No your dad still isn’t back with it.”
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Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”
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Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide!??????
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