Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

I like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey

Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise

A guy is due to meet his friends for drink at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.

The guy says, “Well, you won’t believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her.”

The friends are cheering and one friend asks, “So… did you get any head?”

The guy replies, “No, I couldn’t find it.”