Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”

What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?

Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.