Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over.

My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

My mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”

Sometimes i feel ugly, then i think of my sister and feel better