My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
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My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

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Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

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The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

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One time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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