Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.

I said to my pregnant wife push darling, come on push harder dear, no she wasn’t giving birth the bloody car would not start.

A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy “What’s going on here!?” He exclaims. The wife replies “See, I told you he was stupid.”

There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.