My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what’s that, she said I f@ck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.

Two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said “No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn’t look down then he and his girlfriend ran.”

I have a girlfriend.

What’s the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn’t go to jail for loving me.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.