My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom

Whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? — Butter is difficult to spread.

What’s the difference between a blonde and a masqueto?

A masqueto stops sucking when you slap it