A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!”
Steven hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says… WAITTTT WHATTT
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!” A time traveler walks into a bar.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him “Hey man What the hell you doing? ”. Blind guy says “Just looking around”
so a neutron went to a bar, he asked the bartender how much for a beer, the bartender said, " For you, NO charge."
A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30 storey building and order a drink of beer, then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly so he says to his mate “Gary, take a sip of this drink it makes you fly!” so Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window and dies, and the bartender says “gee, superman your a doosh when you drink”
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
A nucleus walked into a bar, he asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler’s mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, ?Sorry, we don’t serve food here."
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks “where’d you get that lovely thing?” “Africa” the parrot replied.
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road."
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus. The bartender asks, "Don’t you mean Martini?" Julius Caesar says, “No, I only want one.”
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke? ” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.
A TWELVE VOLT BATTERY walks into a tavern and orders a drink.The bartender serves him , and comments now don’t start anything .
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