A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
I will never forget my little brothers last word rip.
His last words: paint dosent taste good
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs. knock knock Who’s there! Not Sarah.
What was Stephens hawking last words? I’m lagging
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. ) The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses?
They both leave you Hanging
Friend #1: “Whats your favourite thing about trees?” Friend #2: “Apples” Me: “I can hang myself in them.”
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it’s suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it’s a failed stunt.
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs -where you left it
Being sad is my only happiness
What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * …
A FLATLINE!
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news? ” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…
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