Straight jokes

I told my wife* she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised

*(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as an helix ruler)

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(pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -

"Hey how "bout that Donald Trump chump… what the f@ck up with that dude, man?

“Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” ( leap week, muthafukas!)

... "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s

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My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, ‘I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe!’

I just told him straight: ‘Bro… you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes.’

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Going to church, you don’t think, you are Christian. Sleeping with ten men, You don’t think, you are straight.

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I was doing a race and I started after everyone cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn’t even race, not because I was behind, because I can’t go straight, if i’m gay…

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When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path. Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

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I asked what LGBTQ stands for and I couldn’t get straight answer??

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“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

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So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called straight out of windshield.

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All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight

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If gay means happy then i am now straight

A news headline read: A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight He was in the infantry

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One day i visited my friend in a hospital I remember when i spoke “You know, sometimes it’s reaching its peak and its lowest state, but i know you’ll always end like the others at calming and straight” Yes, i talked about heart monitor beside him

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Im hertophobic-

Aka im allergic to all straight guys

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Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used.) 1 I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall. 3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks. 4 It’s always windy in a sports arena. All those fans. 5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course! 6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here.” 7 What’s the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler. 8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights

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What’s the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

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