Hell jokes

My friend:What are you doing Me:I?m making holy water My friend:How? Me:I?m boiling the hell out of it.

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A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget and I am now traumatized to hell, the next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend.:)

Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!

Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

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Addison Banks Age (8) "I’m a little brat who won’t shut up the hell! And stop talking!

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Jack and jill went down to hell to fetch ur mothers bladder her bladder broke u two are soaked and now u have a daughter cuz in that bladder was me

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When a 68 year old teacher says: I am going to tackle an intruder if i have to!

Me: Oh hell nah

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If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don’t wake up, and you were on your way to hell

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Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust ring in hell-

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Kobe never missed a shot but he missed the helipad

I’m going to hell!!!

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I will never forget my mother and fathers last words

WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE

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Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

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How to make holy water 1-grab a pot 2-put water in it 3-set the stove to 420 degrees 4-boil the hell out of it

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What’s Steven Hawkins favorite song? Highway to hell because it’s a staircase to heaven.

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Hell you f@ck bitch dick

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THE ORPHANS ALL DIED!!! oh wait, no one cares… THEIR PARENTS ARE ALL DEAD ANYWAY, we are just making them happier, they get to join their parents in hell

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