Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?
What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet
RUS | ENG
