One time a kid came to the hospital and said “I really need help”, the kid said he was really hot so the put an ice cold towel on him. Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems and he said “yes I am really hot” and the doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said “are you sure, you look amazing” and the kid said that he ment to say I look hot!
What’s cold, blue and makes women cry? Cot death.
why was the stadium so cold? Because of all its fans!
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? A: It’s always 90 degrees.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather? A brrrrrrrr-d!
A man takes a boy into the woods boy says Boy: Mister I’m scared and it’s dark and cold The Man: How do you think I feel I’m walking out here alone
when is a cold not a cold?
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing. “Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!” Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won! ” Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder
A good bath is like a dead lover. You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold. it’s so cold, i mist to bring my jacket
what do you do when you get locked outside your house… you talk to the lock. because communication is key.
A Blonde crashed A Helicopter. A Police Officer Asked Her What Happened. She Says, “It Got Cold So I Turned Off The Fan.”
Do you know warrior cats? I heard Hawkfrost is Cold.
Orphan jokes protest Anonymous Orphan jokes are just funny so stop trying to ruin our fun! Comments: Gwen: Stop! It is not funny. Orphans are just out their cold, weak, and need someone! And the jokes are not funny! Shut up: Shut up! Liv: Gwen stop!! Gwen: SHUT UP BITCH!!!
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
RUS | ENG
