Cold jokes

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Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing. “Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!” Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won! ” Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

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A blonde crashes a airplane Officer: could you please explain to me what happened? Woman: It got so cold in the plane I turned the fan off. Officer: face palms self Also officer: Here’s you sign

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What makes it cold ?? in a room? Air conditioning

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Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late? His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

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guess what song this is from: I’LL CUT YOU INTO LITTLE BITTY PIECES OR FREEZE YOU TILL YOUR BLOOD RUNS COLD OR STAB YOUR TIL’ YOU HEART STOPS PUMPING I’M HERE TO REALIZE YOUR WISH FROM WHAT I’M TOLD

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So my friend and I went camping at a Cold lake Campground and he jumped into it, without any warning, and so I asked him Wat-er you doing

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer had cold hands!

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-Dude, What is your favorite rapper? -He is very cold blooded -Why? -He is Ice Cube

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What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder

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What does a bar fly and a Necrophiliac have in common? They both enjoy a Cold one once in awhile.

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