Cold jokes

uranus is cold

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in normal country they have lemonade in soviet russia they have Leninade “refresh yourself with a cold war.”

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Why are colds such bad robbers? – Because they’re so easy to catch.

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When it’s cold outside men can cut ice in 3 places

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What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it’s over your head! Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet Report Ad Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy) Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle) Q: David’s father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David! Report Ad Q: If you were in a ra

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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Why don’t mountains catch colds? They wear snow caps.

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One time a kid came to the hospital and said “I really need help”, the kid said he was really hot so the put an ice cold towel on him. Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems and he said “yes I am really hot” and the doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said “are you sure, you look amazing” and the kid said that he ment to say I look hot!

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SOn:hey dad im cold can you give me a lift from work Dad:Hi cold, Nice to meet you sorry i dont pick up strangers Son:I hate you

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Why did sallys pizza get cold, because she has no arms.

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They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways. your forehead so big if you fell you would knock out your state cold

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So i was laying in bed and jt winter do my room is aleays cold cause the heater doesnt work. And i was thinking… It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me… Then i layghed cause who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

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What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?? A cold shoulder

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Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she’s cold? – Because it’s 90 degrees.

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Most annoying thing… When we send something in What’s app thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks…

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