Cold jokes

I love autumn ??

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A good bath is like a dead lover. You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold. it’s so cold, i mist to bring my jacket

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Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her “why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?” His mother replies “to make myself beautiful Johnny.” A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her “What is the matter? Are you giving up?”

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-Dude, What is your favorite rapper? -He is very cold blooded -Why? -He is Ice Cube

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Dark jokes are like Antarctica The’re cold

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It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

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So today is my birthday today am 13 but yesterday am going to turn 10.but am not even go to school to know the number ten becuase one time at 10 pm in the morning it was so cold in in my hot room so I want outside to drive my car to drive my car. But I stopped becuase the light turn green.i was talking a bath in the front of my car out it didn’t have bin so am taking a sh$t

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Why are colds such bad robbers? – Because they’re so easy to catch.

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what do you do when you get locked outside your house… you talk to the lock. because communication is key.

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How do you stay warm in a cold room? You go to the corners. It’s always 90 degrees

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Most annoying thing… When we send something in What’s app thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks…

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What did the iceberg say to the firefighter? Come close and i’ll knock you out cold

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Ice cold coffee? Coll beans!

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Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing. “Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!” Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won! ” Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

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They say the polar ice caps are melting, good because my wife’s a fat cold bitch.

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