Dark jokes are like Antarctica The’re cold
One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, “you have to come with me and see this it’s really important,” Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can’t it wait until the morning?’ I pleaded, “no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically. ” She yawned and said, “oh so that’s who’s been peeing in the refrigerator.”
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways. your forehead so big if you fell you would knock out your state cold
A blonde crashes a airplane Officer: could you please explain to me what happened? Woman: It got so cold in the plane I turned the fan off. Officer: face palms self Also officer: Here’s you sign
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she’s cold? – Because it’s 90 degrees.
Why are colds such bad robbers? – Because they’re so easy to catch.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff
-Dude, What is your favorite rapper? -He is very cold blooded -Why? -He is Ice Cube
Most annoying thing… When we send something in What’s app thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks…
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her “why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?” His mother replies “to make myself beautiful Johnny.” A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her “What is the matter? Are you giving up?”
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees? Cold as hell
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?? A cold shoulder
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold lake Campground and he jumped into it, without any warning, and so I asked him Wat-er you doing
Yoo mama so stupid she tried to stop the cold war with a heater
RUS | ENG
