Cold jokes

Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him

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SOn:hey dad im cold can you give me a lift from work Dad:Hi cold, Nice to meet you sorry i dont pick up strangers Son:I hate you

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Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing. “Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!” Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won! ” Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

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How do you stay warm in a cold room? You go to the corners. It’s always 90 degrees

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It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

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What does a bar fly and a Necrophiliac have in common? They both enjoy a Cold one once in awhile.

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Why did the orphan jump into the burning building? It was to cold because they did not have a home.

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-Dude, What is your favorite rapper? -He is very cold blooded -Why? -He is Ice Cube

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