Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing. “Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!” Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won! ” Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, “now were not even allowed to do that.”
when you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove but you realize both the doctor’s hands are on your shoulders
in normal country they have lemonade in soviet russia they have Leninade “refresh yourself with a cold war.”
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? A: It’s always 90 degrees.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late? His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
A Blonde crashed A Helicopter. A Police Officer Asked Her What Happened. She Says, “It Got Cold So I Turned Off The Fan.”
One time a kid came to the hospital and said “I really need help”, the kid said he was really hot so the put an ice cold towel on him. Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems and he said “yes I am really hot” and the doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said “are you sure, you look amazing” and the kid said that he ment to say I look hot!
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees? Cold as hell
why was the stadium so cold? Because of all its fans!
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff
I picked up a document and I started to feel cold. I looked down at the document and it read DRAFT.
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good because my wife’s a fat cold bitch.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it’s over your head! Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet Report Ad Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy) Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle) Q: David’s father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David! Report Ad Q: If you were in a ra
why do mountains are very cold. because they are very cold.
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