Computer jokes

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, “Not now.” What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human? Ask Boeing.

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Why did the computer go to the doctor ? Because it had a virus

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

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I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig

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Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the “log in” page on her computer she went and put a log in it.

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I love the smell of my F5 key. – It’s very refreshing.

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I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

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Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God? Computers don’t really have a specific religion

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.

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what’s the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer? i don’t know I have both what is the difference between hilary duff and a computer? you only have to punch information into a computer once.

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How did the computer get out of the house? He used windows.

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Why are elephants scared of computers? Because of the mouse. I’d make a joke about epilepsy but the computer started flashing

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A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?” The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.”” The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

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