Computer jokes

One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep

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Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

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I have a picture of Uranus on my computer

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Why are elephants scared of computers? Because of the mouse. I’d make a joke about epilepsy but the computer started flashing

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why is stephen hawking an organ donator? because he saved 200 computers.

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Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!

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Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.”

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Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the “log in” page on her computer she went and put a log in it.

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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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Don’t fart in a Apple Store It has no Windows

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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

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Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God? Computers don’t really have a specific religion