Computer jokes

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

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What did the HP say to a dell : Hello!

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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What was the computer’s best pickup line? Nice bits

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I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig

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Why was the Computer late to work? Coz it had a hard drive… LMAO

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What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.

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My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard. I dont thing shelsjkdvklserdhcvjskrldfjlbudrjkfhbverjksfbhvyuksejfvsuil.w35xfc.

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How did the computer get out of the house? He used windows.

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Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

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How did the inkjet printer kill himself? He drank cyan-ide.

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Why can’t orphans build computers? They don’t know where to put the motherboard

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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Why did the computer go to the doctor ? Because it had a virus

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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