Computer jokes

Don’t fart in a Apple Store It has no Windows

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel

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Whats the difference between and abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+delete

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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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Your Momma’s so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

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What do you call a crazy computer? Wired.

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A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying “I’m arresting you for impersonating an office, sir”

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb." The other computer replied, “Because I have low memory.”

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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My mom said she will slam me head into my computer of I don’t get of it, I’m not to worried though, I think she is just jhehus,d.kes,jdhcuya71,hshh.jdh

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Q:Whats the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete

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What’s a aliens favorite computer key? the space bar!

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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

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