Whats the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb
What’s the difference between an American 12 yearold and an African 12 year old? About 40 pounds.
What’s the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns
Whats the difference batween an onion and a baby. One makes you cry when you cut it up
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
whats the difference between an in-law and an out-law… an out-law is wanted.
What’s the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, ‘Once upon a time…’, black begins with,’ Y’all motherf……s ain’t gonna believe this sh…’
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
What is the differences an orphan and pikachu? Pikachu I chose you!
what’s the difference between eggs,and you?eggs get laid,you don’t.
how did riahna know that chris brown was cheating on her…there was a different color of lip stick on his knuckles
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
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