What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers
What do turtles and lesbians have in common they both choke on plastic
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”
Him: What’s The Difference Between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com? Her: What? Him: Nothing, Either way you will be dating your Cousin
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
What’s the difference between $1 Million and Baby Teeth? I don’t have $1 Million in my wallet.
What’s the difference between a school and a isis military base? Don’t ask me I only fly the drone…
what’s the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid Depends who’s shooting What is the difference between an orphan and a apple? Well at least one gets picked
what’s the difference between a feminist and suicide vest a least one does something when it is triggered
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.
why doesn’t barbie ever get pregnant ? Because Ken comes in a different box !!!
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? The rooster says… cock a doodle doo The prostitute says… any cock will do
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