What’s the difference?

whats the difference between an in-law and an out-law… an out-law is wanted.

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What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief? The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”

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What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.

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What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is a refreshing summertime snack the other one is a watermelon.

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What’s the difference between a knife and my life? A knife has a point.

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Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out

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What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate

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What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama

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What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

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What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date

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What is the difference between me and a knife? The knife has a point.

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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course. The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, “I’ll tell you about what you saw yesterday, you know Dad has a big belly and that’s why mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat.” . Says that little boy: “But mama, that does not make any difference.” “Oh no?” the mom asks. “No,” says the little boy, “When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and sheblows his belly up again!”

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What’s the difference between a school and a isis military base? Don’t ask me I only fly the drone…

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