What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you? A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference between my dad and a hooker? Hookers come back.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender. Whats the difference between Stephen Hawking an a walkie talkie? Stephen cant walkie an stephen cant talkie
There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief? The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”
what’s the difference between puppies and orphans the puppies actually get adopted
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave? The microwave doesn’t brown the meat.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
What’s the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, ‘Once upon a time…’, black begins with,’ Y’all motherf……s ain’t gonna believe this sh…’
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
What’s the difference betwen a alligator and a crocrodile? One of them you’ll see in a while and the other one you’ll se later
What’s the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they’re both too short.
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