Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? The rooster says… cock a doodle doo The prostitute says… any cock will do
What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile? One is Catholic
What’s the difference between light and hard? It’s easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What’s the difference between you and Hitler? Hitler knew when to kill himself.
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What’s the Difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos. The bar code on the emo kid gets longer everyday.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb.
Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
What’s the difference between princess Dianna and Thomas the tank engine Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel
what is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.
People are like potatoes. We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
What’s the difference between Hitler and a feminist? At least Hitler actually did something
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