What’s the difference?

What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief? The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”

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A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”

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What is the difference between me and a knife? The knife has a point.

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What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side

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What’s the difference between a school and a isis military base? Don’t ask me I only fly the drone…

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What’s the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, ‘Once upon a time…’, black begins with,’ Y’all motherf……s ain’t gonna believe this sh…’

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There is thin line between death and life !! You won’t live to see it … The Cardiogram will !!

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What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

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Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

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Whats the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.

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what’s the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid Depends who’s shooting What is the difference between an orphan and a apple? Well at least one gets picked

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whats the difference between the twin towers and an ugly girl. the twin towers at least got f@cked.

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what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon

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Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtan… So your the one !

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What the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish funeral, one less drunk.

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