How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
What the difference between Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know but they both get harder the more you play with them
what is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.
why doesn’t barbie ever get pregnant ? Because Ken comes in a different box !!!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
whats the difference between an in-law and an out-law… an out-law is wanted.
What’s the difference between a baby and a salad? Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child…? The washing machine doesn’t cry when you put a load in it.
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish? The fish can swim
RUS | ENG
