whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
what’s the difference between puppies and orphans the puppies actually get adopted
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish? The fish can swim
what’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? an apple gets picked
What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
What’s the difference between a paycheck and your penis? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck…
Q: What’s the difference between me and you? A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
Guy 1:"Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference" Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: “Ah i knew you’d get stuck on that” you might be
What’s the difference between light and hard? It’s easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender. Whats the difference between Stephen Hawking an a walkie talkie? Stephen cant walkie an stephen cant talkie
Him: What’s The Difference Between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com? Her: What? Him: Nothing, Either way you will be dating your Cousin
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
What’s the difference between humans and bullets? Humans miss John Lennon
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