Doctors jokes

By the way, this joke is easily found on Google, this was not created by me, I just have not seen it in these fat jokes so I thought I’d say it. Doctor: I diagnoss you with obesitiy. Patient: It runs in the family. Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

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what is the perfect job for a paedophile a physical doctor for kids

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I’m a family doctor and I wish I could help but… you’re an orphan

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A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe

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Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…

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Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: I’ve got u flowers Patient: Awww, What’s the bad news? Doctor: They’re for your grave

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A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he’s sitting the the doctor’s office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, “I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer’s. ” The man replies, “well, at least I don’t have cancer.”

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An orphan goes to a doctor. Doctor: Sorry I can’t help you Orphan: But why? Doctor: I’m a family doctor

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Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.

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My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

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What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

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My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn’t have enough on her plate.

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A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts ,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink … when he finished the doctor told him : from now on take off the spoon.

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The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

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Michael Jakson gets really ill so he’s rushed to hospital. When they get there he says ‘am i in heaven?’ The doctor replies ‘Nah sir we’re just taking a quick shortcut through the children’s ward.’

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