Doctors jokes

Person: ‘Doctor, doctor I’ve only got 50 seconds to live’ Doctor: ‘Just give me a minute’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: I’ve got u flowers Patient: Awww, What’s the bad news? Doctor: They’re for your grave

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

You’re forehead so big when you were being born the doctors thought you had no face

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I’m sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live." The man says " 10! ? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?" The doctor calmly replies “Nine”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Doctor: I’m sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money. Buuuuuut what’s this behind your ear? Oh it’s still cancer

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A women just went through laber,she ask the doctor"was it a healthy delivery"the doctor replies"it wasn’t delivery,it’s digiorno"

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where i should put my pants. “next to mine” was not the answer i was expecting

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills. Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him? Doctor: They Are For You.!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025