Doctors jokes

A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.

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The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

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You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

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An orphan goes to a doctor. Doctor: Sorry I can’t help you Orphan: But why? Doctor: I’m a family doctor

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Lil Jimmy:hey doc Doctor:hi sorry but I can’t see u any more Lil Jimmy:why Doctor: because Lil Jimmy I’m a family doctor your an orphan Lil Jimmy:????????

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“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

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So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: “I’m sorry, you only have ten left.” The other man smiles nervously and asks, “T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him. “Nine.”

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Doctor: I’m sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money. Buuuuuut what’s this behind your ear? Oh it’s still cancer

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A women just went through laber,she ask the doctor"was it a healthy delivery"the doctor replies"it wasn’t delivery,it’s digiorno"

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Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: I’ve got u flowers Patient: Awww, What’s the bad news? Doctor: They’re for your grave

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You’re forehead so big when you were being born the doctors thought you had no face

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Doctor: I have good news and I have worse news Patient: Well what’s the bad news Doctor: You have one day left to live Patient: What news could possibly be worse Doctor: I’ve been trying to contact you sense yesterday

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what is the perfect job for a paedophile a physical doctor for kids

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A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man’s wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What’s the good news? “We managed to save his arm. ” “What’s the bad news?” “We couldn’t save the rest of him.”

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So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. “Doctor,” say Satan. “What is it?” The doctor sighs. “Well, it’s not a boy, and it’s not a girl.” Satan looks frustrated. “THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?” The doctor looks up. “It’s a goose.”

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