Doctors jokes

“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what is the perfect job for a paedophile a physical doctor for kids

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done. So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities. That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My doctor said “you have 1year to live” I said " you wanna bet" Bam a gun shot

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then? ’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A women just went through laber,she ask the doctor"was it a healthy delivery"the doctor replies"it wasn’t delivery,it’s digiorno"

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, One fell off and bumped his head. The momma called the doctor and the doctor said… “We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts ,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink … when he finished the doctor told him : from now on take off the spoon.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Person: I broke my arm in three places Doctor: well don’t go to those three places then.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When does a doctor get mad? When he runs out of patients!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive… An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026