A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe
Michael Jakson gets really ill so he’s rushed to hospital. When they get there he says ‘am i in heaven?’ The doctor replies ‘Nah sir we’re just taking a quick shortcut through the children’s ward.’
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters ‘PNEIS’ and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered ‘SPINE’ are doctors.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
Where do sick boats go? – The dock! There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!
By the way, this joke is easily found on Google, this was not created by me, I just have not seen it in these fat jokes so I thought I’d say it. Doctor: I diagnoss you with obesitiy. Patient: It runs in the family. Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
A women just went through laber,she ask the doctor"was it a healthy delivery"the doctor replies"it wasn’t delivery,it’s digiorno"
I’m a family doctor and I wish I could help but… you’re an orphan
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
“Doctor, I’m shrinking!” “Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
When I was born the doctors said , “it’s a boy!” Then when they went to cut the embilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said , “OH, It’s a girl.”
A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating. ” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”
The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
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