My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn’t have enough on her plate.
Where do sick boats go? – The dock! There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!
Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either
Old man goes to the doctor. The doctor says “The test results are back, and I’m sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer’s.”. The old man says “Phew! At least it’s not cancer!” I’m a Model. my doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram. (Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
Patient: I’m starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?
So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”
A women just went through laber,she ask the doctor"was it a healthy delivery"the doctor replies"it wasn’t delivery,it’s digiorno"
Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills. Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him? Doctor: They Are For You.!!
When I was born the doctors said , “it’s a boy!” Then when they went to cut the embilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said , “OH, It’s a girl.”
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away… Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough…????
A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
Michael Jakson gets really ill so he’s rushed to hospital. When they get there he says ‘am i in heaven?’ The doctor replies ‘Nah sir we’re just taking a quick shortcut through the children’s ward.’
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
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