Doctors jokes

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. – That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

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My doctor said “you have 1year to live” I said " you wanna bet" Bam a gun shot

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Doctor: I’m sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money. Buuuuuut what’s this behind your ear? Oh it’s still cancer

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My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

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I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive… An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.

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You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

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So theres a orphan in a hospital and the doctor walks up and says “sorry kid but this is a family hospital”

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Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.

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The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

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I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

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What do priest and doctors have in common? They both do physicals on kids.

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I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

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I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where i should put my pants. “next to mine” was not the answer i was expecting

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I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying “Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida.” I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was “You unplugged my life support”, that’s when I called the doctor… Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

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what is the perfect job for a paedophile a physical doctor for kids

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