I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”
I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done. So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities. That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
what is the perfect job for a paedophile a physical doctor for kids
Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: I’ve got u flowers Patient: Awww, What’s the bad news? Doctor: They’re for your grave
“I’m sorry,” the doctor says, “you have rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you and you’ll only be fed cheese and bologna.” “Will that cure me?” the patient asks. “Well, no,” the doctor replies, “but it’s the only food that will fit under the door.” %%(Tripple Pun) What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape? Raisin are kids is usually pretty fun, but some times they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin.
When I was born the doctors said , “it’s a boy!” Then when they went to cut the embilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said , “OH, It’s a girl.”
What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
in the hospital paralyzed kid : I’m out walks out the room blind kid : you can walk?! mute kid : you can see?! deaf kid : you can talk?! doctor : wut the f(beep)k
An apple a day keeps the doctor away… Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough…????
So i went to the doctors and the doctor said "Pick a star sign any star sign" So i said "Aquarius" And the doctor said “nah mate you’ve got cancer”
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
An orphan goes to a doctor. Doctor: Sorry I can’t help you Orphan: But why? Doctor: I’m a family doctor
Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
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