A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he’s sitting the the doctor’s office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, “I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer’s. ” The man replies, “well, at least I don’t have cancer.”
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
You’re forehead so big when you were being born the doctors thought you had no face
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive… An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.
What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong
Why did the computer go to the doctor ? Because it had a virus
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Person: I broke my arm in three places Doctor: well don’t go to those three places then.
Place a man in a morgue, he’ll try to leave. Place a doctor in a morgue, he’ll go to work. Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he’ll stay happy for a week.
Patient to doctor "will I be ok Doc?" Doctor:"I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now" Patient: "I dont do that astrology stuff" Doctor:“Nor me. My thermometer just broke”
Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.
Patient: I’m starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?
“Doctor, I’m shrinking!” “Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”
Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…
RUS | ENG
