%% %%I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn’t peeling well.
A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
Michael Jakson gets really ill so he’s rushed to hospital. When they get there he says ‘am i in heaven?’ The doctor replies ‘Nah sir we’re just taking a quick shortcut through the children’s ward.’
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
I walked in to the doctors surgery and and he said to me “pick a star sign any star sign” “I said Capricorn” He said “Nahh you got cancer”
So i went to the doctors and the doctor said "Pick a star sign any star sign" So i said "Aquarius" And the doctor said “nah mate you’ve got cancer”
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where i should put my pants. “next to mine” was not the answer i was expecting
Person: I broke my arm in three places Doctor: well don’t go to those three places then.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away… Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough…????
Patient to doctor "will I be ok Doc?" Doctor:"I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now" Patient: "I dont do that astrology stuff" Doctor:“Nor me. My thermometer just broke”
There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. “Doctor,” say Satan. “What is it?” The doctor sighs. “Well, it’s not a boy, and it’s not a girl.” Satan looks frustrated. “THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?” The doctor looks up. “It’s a goose.”
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
A women just went through laber,she ask the doctor"was it a healthy delivery"the doctor replies"it wasn’t delivery,it’s digiorno"
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