A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
Michael Jakson gets really ill so he’s rushed to hospital. When they get there he says ‘am i in heaven?’ The doctor replies ‘Nah sir we’re just taking a quick shortcut through the children’s ward.’
Patient: “Doctor my bottom hurts” Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?” Patient: “Right around the entrance” Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance it will hurt”
When does a doctor get mad? When he runs out of patients!
By the way, this joke is easily found on Google, this was not created by me, I just have not seen it in these fat jokes so I thought I’d say it. Doctor: I diagnoss you with obesitiy. Patient: It runs in the family. Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE! Doctor: sit down for a minute.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn’t have enough on her plate.
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
An orphan goes to a doctor. Doctor: Sorry I can’t help you Orphan: But why? Doctor: I’m a family doctor
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out. “Oh no, Tom’s an idiot, what did he name my daughter?” she asked the nurse. “Denise.” “That’s not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?” “Tom Junior.”
Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: I’ve got u flowers Patient: Awww, What’s the bad news? Doctor: They’re for your grave
Why did the computer go to the doctor ? Because it had a virus
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
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