There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”
I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive… An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.
Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…
Why did the computer go to the doctor ? Because it had a virus
What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. “Doctor,” say Satan. “What is it?” The doctor sighs. “Well, it’s not a boy, and it’s not a girl.” Satan looks frustrated. “THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?” The doctor looks up. “It’s a goose.”
Where do sick boats go? – The dock! There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
“Doctor, I’m shrinking!” “Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”
Michael Jakson gets really ill so he’s rushed to hospital. When they get there he says ‘am i in heaven?’ The doctor replies ‘Nah sir we’re just taking a quick shortcut through the children’s ward.’
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
When does a doctor get mad? When he runs out of patients!
Patient to doctor "will I be ok Doc?" Doctor:"I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now" Patient: "I dont do that astrology stuff" Doctor:“Nor me. My thermometer just broke”
My doctor said “you have 1year to live” I said " you wanna bet" Bam a gun shot
RUS | ENG
