%% %%I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn’t peeling well.
What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’
By the way, this joke is easily found on Google, this was not created by me, I just have not seen it in these fat jokes so I thought I’d say it. Doctor: I diagnoss you with obesitiy. Patient: It runs in the family. Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.
My doctor said “you have 1year to live” I said " you wanna bet" Bam a gun shot
Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”
What do priest and doctors have in common? They both do physicals on kids.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters ‘PNEIS’ and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered ‘SPINE’ are doctors.
Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there the doctor asks him “Do you have cancer?” Pinocchio replies, “That was very straight up, but, no I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer.” After saying this, his nose grew.
Why did the computer go to the doctor ? Because it had a virus
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE! Doctor: sit down for a minute.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away… Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough…????
When does a doctor get mad? When he runs out of patients!
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