Doctors jokes

Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Patient: I’m starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE! Doctor: sit down for a minute.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

By the way, this joke is easily found on Google, this was not created by me, I just have not seen it in these fat jokes so I thought I’d say it. Doctor: I diagnoss you with obesitiy. Patient: It runs in the family. Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between an anal and oral thermometer? The taste.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating. ” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.” Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Place a man in a morgue, he’ll try to leave. Place a doctor in a morgue, he’ll go to work. Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he’ll stay happy for a week.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

%% %%I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn’t peeling well.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Michael Jakson gets really ill so he’s rushed to hospital. When they get there he says ‘am i in heaven?’ The doctor replies ‘Nah sir we’re just taking a quick shortcut through the children’s ward.’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters ‘PNEIS’ and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered ‘SPINE’ are doctors.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026