Doctors jokes

Lil Jimmy:hey doc Doctor:hi sorry but I can’t see u any more Lil Jimmy:why Doctor: because Lil Jimmy I’m a family doctor your an orphan Lil Jimmy:????????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Doctor: I’m sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money. Buuuuuut what’s this behind your ear? Oh it’s still cancer

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

%% %%I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn’t peeling well.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating. ” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where i should put my pants. “next to mine” was not the answer i was expecting

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then? ’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. “Doctor,” say Satan. “What is it?” The doctor sighs. “Well, it’s not a boy, and it’s not a girl.” Satan looks frustrated. “THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?” The doctor looks up. “It’s a goose.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026