My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn’t have enough on her plate.
I’m a family doctor and I wish I could help but… you’re an orphan
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
My doctor said “you have 1year to live” I said " you wanna bet" Bam a gun shot
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out. “Oh no, Tom’s an idiot, what did he name my daughter?” she asked the nurse. “Denise.” “That’s not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?” “Tom Junior.”
Lil Jimmy:hey doc Doctor:hi sorry but I can’t see u any more Lil Jimmy:why Doctor: because Lil Jimmy I’m a family doctor your an orphan Lil Jimmy:????????
Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: I’ve got u flowers Patient: Awww, What’s the bad news? Doctor: They’re for your grave
An apple a day keeps the doctor away… Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough…????
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters ‘PNEIS’ and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered ‘SPINE’ are doctors.
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE! Doctor: sit down for a minute.
What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
A women just went through laber,she ask the doctor"was it a healthy delivery"the doctor replies"it wasn’t delivery,it’s digiorno"
“Doctor, I’m shrinking!” “Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”
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