Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
I’m a family doctor and I wish I could help but… you’re an orphan
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either
What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: I’ve got u flowers Patient: Awww, What’s the bad news? Doctor: They’re for your grave
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, One fell off and bumped his head. The momma called the doctor and the doctor said… “We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
I walked in to the doctors surgery and and he said to me “pick a star sign any star sign” “I said Capricorn” He said “Nahh you got cancer”
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters ‘PNEIS’ and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered ‘SPINE’ are doctors.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.
The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t
“I’m sorry,” the doctor says, “you have rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you and you’ll only be fed cheese and bologna.” “Will that cure me?” the patient asks. “Well, no,” the doctor replies, “but it’s the only food that will fit under the door.” %%(Tripple Pun) What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape? Raisin are kids is usually pretty fun, but some times they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin.
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