Dream jokes

Why do a orphan starts with an “O” because they Only see there parents in their dream.

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An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman’s boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman’s boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What’s it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don’t serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can’t believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.

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Sniff a liter of petrol You’ll go back to the dream time at

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I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow I woke up and my pillow was gone

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A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini. The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him. The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao

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your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies

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Dream tweeted, and I quote “Babies kick pregnant women all the time but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested.”

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Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

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My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

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so one time I had a dream where I as on a road trip and we drove a gulf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan. We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom which was so weird!!!

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I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda guess it is just a FANTAsea.

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You realize your in a parodox,until you die,you’ll see yourself die,Murder,Suicide,Old Age,Etc Then your realize your dreaming,but you realize that you die in a dream you die irl

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I’m a little piss baby! -dream

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I had a dream that i was destroyin the world and i blew up my house for fun I woke up and couldnt find my pillow… Nor the house

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If a baby cow finds a wolf pup they will best friends but when mummy wolf comes it’s a fight so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a Secret but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf Found out but no one got hurt in fact the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long there friendship will never Break -THE END- this was not a joke but a meaning if you are different that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams and don’t Forget htm title=' are don’t let people change who you are?'>them either so no matter who you are don’t let people change who you are????

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