Dream jokes

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked “where are you from” and I said Portugal. He replied, “so you are a fellow country man of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out! !”. Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Penaldo for costing me my dream job

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%%The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.

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I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts. Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep. Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave. Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you. Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

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Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents

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Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

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have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

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Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)

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my best friend said can you put your dick in me i said can i cum in u?

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There once was a man from Peru.who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke up at night ,with a terrible fright,to find out his dream had come true.

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The pope drives around in a glass box or as I like to call him a snipers dream

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You realize your in a parodox,until you die,you’ll see yourself die,Murder,Suicide,Old Age,Etc Then your realize your dreaming,but you realize that you die in a dream you die irl

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Last night I had the strangest dream ! I sailed away to China! And I caught the coronavirus! You said you needed to wash your hands! Didn’t want no one else to touch you! What does that mean ?! And you said!! Ain’t nothing gonna break my lungs ? ?! Ain’t no way of slowing Covid down! Oh no I’ve got to keep on coughing!!!

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People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.

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It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream. You know, for his sake.

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