Dream jokes

so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was htm title=' the my wife got hit bye a car'>all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

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Why do a orphan starts with an “O” because they Only see there parents in their dream.

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I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow I woke up and my pillow was gone

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Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents

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Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed. What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts. Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep. Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave. Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you. Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

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Me: I have a dream Mom: what? Me: for you to f@cking shut up

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Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow? So it could have sweet dreams.

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Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

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your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies

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A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”

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I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

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I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

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He replied with ”when were you born?”

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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