Dream jokes

I had a dream I was a muffler last night… I woke up EXHAUSTED ????

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There once was a man from Peru.who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke up at night ,with a terrible fright,to find out his dream had come true.

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Last night I had a dream of led but your mom won’t led me tell you.

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Why did the silly girl ?? put sugar under her pillow? She wanted to have sweet dreams. ??

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A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast. When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the toast god punch line, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man. The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles

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A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini. The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him. The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao

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Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)

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I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked “where are you from” and I said Portugal. He replied, “so you are a fellow country man of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out! !”. Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Penaldo for costing me my dream job

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Why didn’t the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless. I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

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You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice/dreams.

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Yo mama so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn’t be inside her dreams.

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Mommy mommy! Are we going to live forever? Only in your dreams.

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Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts. Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep. Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave. Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you. Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

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You don’t have a forehead you have a five head. You don’t have dreams you have movies.

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