Dream jokes

I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow I woke up and my pillow was gone

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A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini. The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him. The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao

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I was in an audition for the lead role of movie ‘Aquaman’. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie. Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream

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%%The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.

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I’m a little piss baby! -dream

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Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style? Is HE goated with the sauce?

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your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies

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Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow? So it could have sweet dreams.

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Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)

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Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed. What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer

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I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda guess it is just a FANTAsea.

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If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don’t wake up, and you were on your way to hell

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Why do people think about handsome boys at night? Because their dreamy!

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My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

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Can people please shut up about ‘male privileges’. There is no right that men have that women don’t. Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft. Women have the right to choose parenthood, men do not. Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children. Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape. Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime. Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators. Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of “women only” events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us) Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner. Women have the right to domestic violence shelters Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic depute Women have the right to rape a man or boy and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy they can sue him for child support. So it is women who have more rights. So shut up feminists please.

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