Dream jokes

There was once a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe While dreaming of Venus He played with his penis And awoke with a hand full of goo

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Why do people think about handsome boys at night? Because their dreamy!

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What’s a dog’s dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.

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Yo mama so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn’t be inside her dreams.

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A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen’t to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered ‘SUPERMAN!!!’. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said "in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said ‘Ole Ole Ole!!!’. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. ‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!’, the teacher boomed. ‘Superman’, the boy replied. ‘WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!’, the teacher continued. ‘In the Barbie Dream House’ ‘GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE! !!’ ‘OLE OLE OLE OLE!’, the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

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A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini. The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him. The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

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Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

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%%The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.

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What is a orphans dream To get on top of the wanted list ??

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I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

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Me: I have a dream Mom: what? Me: for you to f@cking shut up

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Why do a orphan starts with an “O” because they Only see there parents in their dream.

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I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted

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