Dream jokes

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie ‘Aquaman’. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie. Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is a orphans dream To get on top of the wanted list ??

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

just killed a woman feeling good -Tommyinnit

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

so one time I had a dream where I as on a road trip and we drove a gulf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan. We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom which was so weird!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice/dreams.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Sniff a liter of petrol You’ll go back to the dream time at

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Me: I have a dream Mom: what? Me: for you to f@cking shut up

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’m a little piss baby! -dream

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants. Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite! Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead. R.I.P Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile! Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you! Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Last night I had the strangest dream ! I sailed away to China! And I caught the coronavirus! You said you needed to wash your hands! Didn’t want no one else to touch you! What does that mean ?! And you said!! Ain’t nothing gonna break my lungs ? ?! Ain’t no way of slowing Covid down! Oh no I’ve got to keep on coughing!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda turns out it was a fanta sea

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer! Knock him down, Knock him down, Believer, Believer! Axe it’s head, Axe it’s head. Axe it’s head defeat him. SUBSCRIBE!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026