Dream jokes

i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda turns out it was a fanta sea

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants. Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite! Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead. R.I.P Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile! Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you! Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”

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Whats an orphans dream job? A builder, to build themselves a home.

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are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? cuz damn, you look like you came out of a dream.

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When I was a little boy I had this dream I was eating a giant marshmallow When I woke I was being sexually abused

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You don’t have a forehead you have a five head. You don’t have dreams you have movies.

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%%The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.

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I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

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%%Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching, but You’re too shy to say it Inside, we both know what’s been going on We know the game and we’re gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

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Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents

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Last night I had a dream of led but your mom won’t led me tell you.

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officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE! You gotta believe me!

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It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream. You know, for his sake.

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Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))

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Last night i had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn’t REEL

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