Dream jokes

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An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman’s boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman’s boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What’s it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don’t serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can’t believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.

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I was in an audition for the lead role of movie ‘Aquaman’. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie. Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream

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What is a orphans dream To get on top of the wanted list ??

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I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted

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I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked “where are you from” and I said Portugal. He replied, “so you are a fellow country man of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out! !”. Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Penaldo for costing me my dream job

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Last night I had the strangest dream ! I sailed away to China! And I caught the coronavirus! You said you needed to wash your hands! Didn’t want no one else to touch you! What does that mean ?! And you said!! Ain’t nothing gonna break my lungs ? ?! Ain’t no way of slowing Covid down! Oh no I’ve got to keep on coughing!!!

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Stressed Out-By- Twenty One Pilots and watersharky Music Productions-I wish I found some better sounds No one’s ever heard I wish I had a better voice That sang some better words I wish I found some chords In an order that is new I wish I didn’t have to rhyme Every time I sang I was told when I get older All my fears would shrink But now I’m

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You dream with 4k As a son I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him, and she don’t want to be with him no more, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny. Then I told my friend girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out, and wanted to co front me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happen then my mom said the same thing happen to me. I came home one day I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job I ask what’s going on. My friend told your mom is my new girlfriend & my mom said this is the penis of my dreams.

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%%Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching, but You’re too shy to say it Inside, we both know what’s been going on We know the game and we’re gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

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