Dream jokes

Me in my dream: what a good day rumble ooh! What was dat I wake up and I find myself on the floor

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your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies

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Why do black men have nightmares? because the only one that had a dream got shot.

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When I was a little boy I had this dream I was eating a giant marshmallow When I woke I was being sexually abused

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I had a dream that i was destroyin the world and i blew up my house for fun I woke up and couldnt find my pillow… Nor the house

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Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer! Knock him down, Knock him down, Believer, Believer! Axe it’s head, Axe it’s head. Axe it’s head defeat him. SUBSCRIBE!!!

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Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

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Mommy mommy! Are we going to live forever? Only in your dreams.

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my best friend said can you put your dick in me i said can i cum in u?

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%%Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching, but You’re too shy to say it Inside, we both know what’s been going on We know the game and we’re gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

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are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? cuz damn, you look like you came out of a dream.

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I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants. Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite! Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead. R.I.P Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile! Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you! Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”

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Whats an orphans dream job? A builder, to build themselves a home.

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There was once a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe While dreaming of Venus He played with his penis And awoke with a hand full of goo

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