Dream jokes

My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

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I’m a little piss baby! -dream

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So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”

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Following your dreams is good…especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.

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I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

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Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

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Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone

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It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, “I’ve heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?”

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A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”

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When I was a little boy I had this dream I was eating a giant marshmallow When I woke I was being sexually abused

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You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice/dreams.

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are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? cuz damn, you look like you came out of a dream.

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I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st… XD

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Whats an orphans dream job? A builder, to build themselves a home.

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I was in an audition for the lead role of movie ‘Aquaman’. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie. Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream

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