Dream jokes

My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

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I had a dream I was a muffler last night… I woke up EXHAUSTED ????

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There was once a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe While dreaming of Venus He played with his penis And awoke with a hand full of goo

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One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was ‘Jiro Dreams of Sushi’. One of the least popular documentaries was ‘Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape’.

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What’s a dog’s dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.

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Me in my dream: what a good day rumble ooh! What was dat I wake up and I find myself on the floor

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Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

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Me: I have a dream Mom: what? Me: for you to f@cking shut up

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There once was a man from Peru.who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke up at night ,with a terrible fright,to find out his dream had come true.

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%%Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching, but You’re too shy to say it Inside, we both know what’s been going on We know the game and we’re gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants. Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite! Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead. R.I.P Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile! Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you! Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”

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Why do people think about handsome boys at night? Because their dreamy!

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A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”

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so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was htm title=' the my wife got hit bye a car'>all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

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I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda guess it is just a FANTAsea.

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