Dream jokes

Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))

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your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies

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There once was a man from Peru.who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke up at night ,with a terrible fright,to find out his dream had come true.

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants. Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite! Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead. R.I.P Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile! Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you! Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”

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Last night I had the strangest dream ! I sailed away to China! And I caught the coronavirus! You said you needed to wash your hands! Didn’t want no one else to touch you! What does that mean ?! And you said!! Ain’t nothing gonna break my lungs ? ?! Ain’t no way of slowing Covid down! Oh no I’ve got to keep on coughing!!!

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One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was ‘Jiro Dreams of Sushi’. One of the least popular documentaries was ‘Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape’.

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I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

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%%The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.

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Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style? Is HE goated with the sauce?

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