Dream jokes

I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted

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I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

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Last night I had the strangest dream ! I sailed away to China! And I caught the coronavirus! You said you needed to wash your hands! Didn’t want no one else to touch you! What does that mean ?! And you said!! Ain’t nothing gonna break my lungs ? ?! Ain’t no way of slowing Covid down! Oh no I’ve got to keep on coughing!!!

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There was once a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe While dreaming of Venus He played with his penis And awoke with a hand full of goo

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Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents

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%%The teacher is asking you a question. Teacher: If your biggest dream came true, what would you be? Me: dead.

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You don’t have a forehead you have a five head. You don’t have dreams you have movies.

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants. Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite! Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead. R.I.P Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile! Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you! Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”

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%%Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching, but You’re too shy to say it Inside, we both know what’s been going on We know the game and we’re gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

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Mommy mommy! Are we going to live forever? Only in your dreams.

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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Sniff a liter of petrol You’ll go back to the dream time at

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If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don’t wake up, and you were on your way to hell

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What is a orphans dream To get on top of the wanted list ??

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Why do a orphan starts with an “O” because they Only see there parents in their dream.

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