Dream jokes

An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman’s boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman’s boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What’s it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don’t serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can’t believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.

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I slept like a log last night…woke up in the fireplace

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I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

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One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was ‘Jiro Dreams of Sushi’. One of the least popular documentaries was ‘Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape’.

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You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice/dreams.

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Mommy mommy! Are we going to live forever? Only in your dreams.

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Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer! Knock him down, Knock him down, Believer, Believer! Axe it’s head, Axe it’s head. Axe it’s head defeat him. SUBSCRIBE!!!

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Yo mama so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn’t be inside her dreams.

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What do you call a fake speedrunner? Dream

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I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda guess it is just a FANTAsea.

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I had a dream I was a muffler last night… I woke up EXHAUSTED ????

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It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, “I’ve heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?”

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I know this is a really bad poem but I’ll do it anyway cuz I have nothing else to do. Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone’s dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No it’s all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it’s all a dream! Why can’t I have this? Why can’t I have that? BUT NO! It’s just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and exedra. it goes on and on. But why wish for riches? Your already rich enough? If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that… OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE! Like I said, it’s really bad. :( I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

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Last night I had a dream of led but your mom won’t led me tell you.

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If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don’t wake up, and you were on your way to hell

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