a random drunk person ate poop but he found out it was liquid…
we are drunk at the party, there was an A S S ton of drunk girls there with me…
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each htm title=' you get drunk and have a great time'>one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Mom I’m pregnant are you drunk why because your boy
the real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs
My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer, the bartender says no. The midget asks why, the bartender says “You’re a little drunk”
My mom trying to get me to do dishes Mom: I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes. Me: Why did you? Mom: I was very drunk… Explains a lot…
For steven hawking why is being drunk and having his power shutout the same He blacks out
A drunk guy runs into a bar… he bangs his head and falls down, why? Because he is in a prison cell.
You know the song getting drunk on a plane it was written by the pilot of the linerd skinerd pilot
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says “Bartender, I want to buy that douche bag a drink”. The bartender says “You can’t talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I’m going to throw you out!”. The drunk says “Okay, I’m sorry. I’d like to buy the lady a drink”. The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says “The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?”. She says “Vinegar and water”
Jack and Jill went up the hill, they turned to drunks and have no will, Jill said to Jack your love reveal, then think of building me a still.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
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