little johnny f@cked a girl ran away f@cked another ran went to the strip club got a private dance he has sex with them f@cking ran yelled to some random bitch ass guy f@ck him hes a bitch he bends down they have sex on the street they go home have sex little johnny wakes up questions himself f@cking does it again he goes to the strip club f@cks some more people when he is htm title=' phone sex but his dick is to small'>drunk questions himself some more then tries phone sex but his dick is to small
the real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men. That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I’m about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY f@ckING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing “intense kissing” the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I’ve been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn’t
What do you call a drunk depressed man that skydives? Splattered.
A 6 year old girl decides to get baptized, she walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her In the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl was drowned and died… later on when the pastor was better and thrown in jail. All he had to say to the mortified family was “well, at least she’s in heaven!”
Watersharky Music Productions Presents Memories by Conan Gray One, two It’s been a couple months That’s just about enough time For me to stop crying when I look at all the pictures Now I kinda smile, I haven’t felt that in a while It’s late, I hear the door Bell ringing and it’s pouring I open up that door, see your brown eyes at the
some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”
2 whales went to a bar. The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh. The second whale said, “Greg I think your drunk, let’s go home.”
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each htm title=' you get drunk and have a great time'>one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time
When i was 11 My mom came home from the bar super drunk that night and I just wanted to know if they knew where htm title=' noise…we had a loooooooong talk the next morning.'>was the cat because I heard a noise…we had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
little johnny dad was drunk and told him to grow up and he sad stfu you need to be young you big ass bitch
jack took jill up a hill to have a picknic but jack and jill got drunk they then jill unzipped jacks fly then said you know you want me to he said yes so she took off her dress and bra jack took his pants and shirt off to they both went in the well together and playd a game jacks candy stick in jills candy stick next jill was suking jacks candy stick while jack licked htm title=' sat on jacks candy stick while making out'>and sucked her candy stick then jill sat on jacks candy stick while making out
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar, and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks “What’s so magical about it?” the guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. the other tries, but falls of and dies. The bartender shakes his head, and says. "Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk superman.
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