Why did the wall fall over? A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each htm title=' you get drunk and have a great time'>one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not…
When i was 11 My mom came home from the bar super drunk that night and I just wanted to know if they knew where htm title=' noise…we had a loooooooong talk the next morning.'>was the cat because I heard a noise…we had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Mom I’m pregnant are you drunk why because your boy
What did the drunk women said to the man after leaving the bar? Alcohol-you later
Superman was bored and wanted to go out, he called all his super friends but they were all busy. He even calls Louis but it’s her time of the month. He flies to the liquor store and buy some beer and gets drunk. As has flying he sees wonder woman naked on top of the roof, he starts thinking "I will fly down…and have sex with her sooooo fast “BURP” that she WON’T know what happen. "HICKUP" He flies to her faster than a speed of light BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG and flies away with a smile he passes out and crashed into a wall. Wonder woman jumps up and screams "WHAT WAS THAT… the invisible man appears holding his butt and he gets off on wonder woman and says ‘I dont know but my butt hurts real bad’.
Did you hear about Alicia’s car accident? She was really drunk and all over the road Until she was all over the road.
So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project [ì]ëÿòü, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent
Kid: dad what is it like to be drunk Dad: you see those 2 trees over there, if you were drunk you would see 4 Kid: dad there is only 1 tree
Friened says, "your so drunk last night, u throu a mushroom at a migit and said grow mario grow.
How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
A Drunk Guy Asked His Penis : ?Tell Me, How Can You Get Shorter And Longer And I Can’t ? ? ?Why Don’t You Speak To Me ?? ?Stop Getting Shorter And Longer Or I Will Choke You? ?Oh Yeah I Like It ( ?° ?? ?°) ? Hhhhhhhhh d(-???)-
RUS | ENG
