Drunk jokes

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I’m about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY f@ckING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing “intense kissing” the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I’ve been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn’t

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Did you hear about Alicia’s car accident? She was really drunk and all over the road Until she was all over the road.

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2 whales went to a bar. The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh. The second whale said, “Greg I think your drunk, let’s go home.”

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Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men. That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

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Why did the wall fall over? A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.

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“I wasn’t that drunk yesterday.” “Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying.”

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little johnny dad was drunk and told him to grow up and he sad stfu you need to be young you big ass bitch

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A Chinese moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He bought a home on a small piece of land. The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these ‘Chinese customs’,

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over.

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When i was 11 My mom came home from the bar super drunk that night and I just wanted to know if they knew where htm title=' noise…we had a loooooooong talk the next morning.'>was the cat because I heard a noise…we had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

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My freind Andrew once told me that “weird is high and drunk at the same time”

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A Drunk Guy Asked His Penis : ?Tell Me, How Can You Get Shorter And Longer And I Can’t ? ? ?Why Don’t You Speak To Me ?? ?Stop Getting Shorter And Longer Or I Will Choke You? ?Oh Yeah I Like It ( ?° ?? ?°) ? Hhhhhhhhh d(-???)-

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Question: How was Covid19 born? Answer:Someone f@cked batman??

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What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk Over charge himself

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Mom I’m pregnant are you drunk why because your boy

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