What do you call lesbians having sex? My cheating dyke ex wife!
My ex misses me, good thing she’ll never hit me.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex? A roTHOT
One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it… elephants never forget.
My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.
A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn’t shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane? Time’s up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it. How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door? Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door. Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators. How did she survive? Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
Granny’s says. don’t worry the crys of pain are only my ex husbands
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
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