Family jokes

Dad: "if they jumped off a bridge would you?" Tommy: “yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!”

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Dad: What did you learn in school today? Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.

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My Daughter is Super Smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor

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So Kenny finally found his one true love. But he can’t be with her because it’s illegal to marry your sister.

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a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers? Brother; because their beautiful! Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren’t. Brother:…

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Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”

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My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. ushe told me that the was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.

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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

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My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due his skill in disappearing.

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Knock knock who there interrupting cow interrupting cow moo ??????????????????

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How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her

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Depression hits harder than my dad

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Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …

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