Family jokes

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

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My friends daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

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The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

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Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well

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Dad: how was your trip to the park? Daughter: it was good until the man came along. Dad: gasps whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened? Daughter: he made my friends go away so it was just me and him… then he took my dress off… Dad: oh God, what next? Daughter: Nothing, that was it. Dad: oh, come on! that wasn’t exciting, make something up!

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So my dad said to me and my sister don’t fight but did he mean “fist fight” or “yelling fight?”

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Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid. Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA

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You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father’s son and your father’s father, you’re your own grandpa!

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Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.

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My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you Coconut

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my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma’am this item is worthless "

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I love you Hebrew john

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Knock knock who there interrupting cow interrupting cow moo ??????????????????

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My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!

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So I was f@cking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in… I don’t know what was funnier the look on her face or that the abortion clinic let me keep her

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