Family jokes

Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.

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Why does sally have a 100 sisters? She lives in a orphanage

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I told my dad is was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said “Hey you should CUT it out.” It was funny but I couldn’t bring myself to laugh at that.

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1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I’m also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do…

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So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

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What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.

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You want to hear a dirty joke? This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m f@cking my sister” and hangs up the phone

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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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When I become a parent I’m gonna regergetate my food to feed my children. It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

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Knock knock who there interrupting cow interrupting cow moo ??????????????????

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I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. ????

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Q: what’s worst fingerbanging your sister? A: finding your dads wedding ring

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