Family jokes

One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

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What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? Daddy

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My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa, I asked “Why is it because he gives people presents?” Jimmy told me “No it’s because I hear so many good things about him but and how he’s gonna come home, but never see him.”

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Mr smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr smith have Tell me answers in comment box

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She was only a potato chip manufacturer "s daughter - by she was Frito Lay!

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why do orphans eat cereal with water? because their dad never came home with the milk

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Daughter: Dad, what’s your opinion on abortions? Dad: Ask your sister Daughter: But I don’t have a sister Dad: Exactly

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So my dad said to me and my sister don’t fight but did he mean “fist fight” or “yelling fight?”

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Depression hits harder than my dad

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her

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My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!

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Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.

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Sometimes i feel ugly, then i think of my sister and feel better

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How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!

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Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …

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