Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
Once my sister was a sister now shes a blister
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
what do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha
Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.
today my idiot brother screamed"ahhhhh im dead!’ but it wasn’t really, so i d3cded to make it a reality until my sister came… AND HELPED ME! - for once but then two minutes later my mom showed up, we k!lled him right infront of her and she screamed! "DONUTS AND PIZZA FOR YPU AND MORE IF YOU GO TO MRS ROBERTS HOUSE AND SAY HI AND BYE TO DADDY!!! and she hands us both a sharp tool and i say what about tommy!!! arn’t u MAD!!! then she replied who’s THAT??? COZ HE AINT MINE HIS NAME IS TOMMY, TOMMY ROBERTS. so then me and my sister visit mrs ROBERTS AND SHE SAID OH THIS ISN’T ANYTHING IMPORTANT GO HOME! so then my sister nd i say hi! and do a countdount aftr that my nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR , MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL!?????? but then the police question us where daddy was so then mom said… oh he’s moved on! so then the police officer was like ahem ma’m where! SO THEN I BELLOWED… UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either? ? i will ask my neibour nessy she’ll obviously say YES or ill…
Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.
Why does sally have a 100 sisters? She lives in a orphanage
Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!
Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
Why hasn’t my dad come back? No seriously I’m not joking
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