My Mom said: I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied. Well i said: Have you seen her?
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked me “is that the best you can do?”
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
Why did the brother cross the road? Because The Sister Farted.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you Coconut
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late, his best friend asked, “Would you like to hear a joke?” “Sure” he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common? ’ “I don’t know.” “Because of me you’re both late for your next period.”
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her
This is a poem my younger sister when she was three, recited to a crowd and I will never forget it. It is very short though. Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what’s right, with all your might.
what do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
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