What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
What do Chinese parents hate the most? A new born daughter…
My Daughter is Super Smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor
Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent! Orphan: -no response-
Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid. Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well
Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked “What are you doing?” She replied, “Making a Creampie.”
Tits are like Lego bricks. They’re there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
What’s the best part about plowing your cousin? -It makes your sister jealous
One day my mom told me to take out the trash and I did . The next day mom asked me where is your sister and I said a garbage truck took her. Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left
jack and jill went down to hell to fetch ur mothers bladder her bladder broke u two are soaked and now u have a daughter cuz in that bladder was me
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