My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What do u call a grown up with ur sister, ur best friend
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.
why do orphans eat cereal with water? because their dad never came home with the milk
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
My Mom said: I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied. Well i said: Have you seen her?
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.
Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You’re welcome, Backseat.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water, jack slipped and the condom ripped now they have a daughter
what do you call a dad in the mirror? ( Your imagination )
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