So there’s this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says “I’ve got an idea!”, and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies “Well for your daughter, Denise” “That’s a nice name” comments the mother, “but what about my son?” The uncle simply replies “Denephew”.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness. Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!"
A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it? “ The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore.”
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I’ve ever made. Then I realize “My daughter isn’t THAT bad…”
The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.
Corn and corn WHERE IS POPCORN!?!?!
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, “Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween.”
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
Once my sister was a sister now shes a blister
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it Leaves and never comes back
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers? A virgin.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.
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