Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands. So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said “I used all the milk to make your sister”
I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”
Dad: how was your trip to the park? Daughter: it was good until the man came along. Dad: gasps whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened? Daughter: he made my friends go away so it was just me and him… then he took my dress off… Dad: oh God, what next? Daughter: Nothing, that was it. Dad: oh, come on! that wasn’t exciting, make something up!
Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.
My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!
Tits are like Lego bricks. They’re there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
why do orphans eat cereal with water? because their dad never came home with the milk
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama? Kick his sisters jaw
Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!
So three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother, the first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So the mother replies “Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead.” The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So the mother explained “Same as Daisy, when you we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead.” The third daughter then said “ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb” so the mother said “Shut Up Brick!”
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
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