I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city
My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!
What do Chinese parents hate the most? A new born daughter…
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
So a daughter goes to her dad and says “daddy can I borrow the car?” He the tells her “you know what to do”. So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust and says “ugh tastes like shit” her dad then said “damn I forgot your brother took the car”
daughter:dad why did mom do best? dad:nothing except pretend to love us and leave daughter:so she only loves my sister? dad:yep
What the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter? A-doll Hit-her! Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No… Girl: I am the principal’s daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No… Boy: Good! Walks away
My family is like a apple tree my sister is that ugly one that has to ruin in What do tampons and your sister have in common!
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
What’s the best part about plowing your cousin? -It makes your sister jealous
A little girl said to her mom "MOM MY BUTTS CRACKED KISS IT KISS IT"her mom said “sweetie SHUT UP ITS ALWAYS BEEN THERE” then her daughter died cuz of her melodramaticness.
RUS | ENG
