Family jokes

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

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what is a lion call as a baby cocota

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Dad: What did you learn in school today? Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.

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Once my sister was a sister now shes a blister

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I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.

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Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

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what do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha

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What the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter? A-doll Hit-her! Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No… Girl: I am the principal’s daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No… Boy: Good! Walks away

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why do orphans eat cereal with water? because their dad never came home with the milk

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I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.

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What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

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5 4 3 2 1. A castle ways a ton. 5 4 3 2 1. The Queen of England’s won. I never thought she’d get it done, but her sister is a nun.

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When you’re f@cking your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

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My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question

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jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water, jack slipped and the condom ripped now they have a daughter

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