I told my friend yesterday he’s literally my dad. He didn’t show up for the rest of the year.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the switch.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.”
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!” The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!” Guess who dies next.
Why hasn’t my dad come back? No seriously I’m not joking
jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water, jack slipped and the condom ripped now they have a daughter
My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: tooth hurty Dad: all right
To All The Naruto Fans: sharingan is red rasengan are blue if you dare touch my daughter ill chidori you
So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”
y do orphans eat cereal with water there dad did not come back with the milk
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