How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.
My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question
My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!
Daughter: Mommy? Mom: Hey Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids? Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny…
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters? Anna 1 Anna 2
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because The Sister Farted.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the the sower you can’t even see it. Guy: No I see your sister’s head
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
Daughter: So, I got my period. Mom: That’s wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying! Daughter: That’s nice, Mum, but isn’t the whole point of getting your period dying? Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to the another day. Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically) Mom: You’re welcome, honey. (Clueless. Obviously.)
Dad: What did you learn in school today? Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not) and Michael Jackson’s song Billie Jean sounds like my name and so my mom says, as the song is playing, (my name) is not my daughter, she’s just a girl who claims that I am her mum. Wow. applauds for mother Love you momma =)
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