Who named their daughter Macadamia? A couple of nuts.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
A little girl said to her mom "MOM MY BUTTS CRACKED KISS IT KISS IT"her mom said “sweetie SHUT UP ITS ALWAYS BEEN THERE” then her daughter died cuz of her melodramaticness.
I love you Hebrew john
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
what is a lion call as a baby cocota
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a “no”. His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, “Why do you keep asking me to croak?” The granddaughter replies, “Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland.”
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? Daddy
Why did the brother cross the road? Because The Sister Farted.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.”
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I’m also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do…
Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick
Corn and corn WHERE IS POPCORN!?!?!
I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified
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