She was only a potato chip manufacturer "s daughter - by she was Frito Lay!
Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
%%Dad: “Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?” Son: “Nah, mostly men.” Dad: “Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you
What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette
You want to hear a dirty joke? This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m f@cking my sister” and hangs up the phone
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
I told my friend yesterday he’s literally my dad. He didn’t show up for the rest of the year.
Why did the Santa go to work because he was just trying out the work ????
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
whats the difference between a lambo and a boner your sister didnt give me a lambo
My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said “If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away.” the next time my Aunt visited she said “Where is you daughter? ” my Mom said “I took your advice”
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? Daddy
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