I told my friend yesterday he’s literally my dad. He didn’t show up for the rest of the year.
What do Chinese parents hate the most? A new born daughter…
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.” I once heard my dad shout I’m going to be like frozen and let it go then I heard a gunshot
Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
Daughter: Dad Dad: Yes honey Daughter: Im Lesbian Dad: Ok Daughter 2: Dad Dad: Yes? Daughter 2: Im lesbian too Dad: GOD does anyone like boys around here Son: I do…
I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her. A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”. The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?” Father: "Ask your sister” Daughter: “I don’t have a…”
Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”
Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …
The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked “What are you doing” and the Daughter replied “I wan’t the chocolate”
RUS | ENG
