A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
My sister thinks shes so smart she said only and onion can make you cry so i brought the belt out and she started crying
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man”? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”. Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. “Pssst - hey Bernie”!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : “What is it?” A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : “Do you mind if we swap places”? Sister Bernadette replies : “What for”? Sister Carmel says : “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”! What’s better then sex with your 12 year old sister? Rolling her over and pretending it’s your 10 year old brother
Dad: What did you learn in school today? Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I’ve ever made. Then I realize “My daughter isn’t THAT bad…”
Sometimes i feel ugly, then i think of my sister and feel better
daughter:dad why did mom do best? dad:nothing except pretend to love us and leave daughter:so she only loves my sister? dad:yep
Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?” Father: "Ask your sister” Daughter: “I don’t have a…”
jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
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