Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us? Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road? Son:why? Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway
Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know! ?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.
Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?” Father: "Ask your sister” Daughter: “I don’t have a…”
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers? A virgin.
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home. They got in the car, and his mother asked "Johnny, what did you do this time? So johnny pulled his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” Once they got home his dad was off work and heard that johnny was coming home early from school, once again he asked johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” After that, his dad was surprised so his dad pulled down his pants and said “Big whale, big whale.”
Daughter: Mommy? Mom: Hey Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids? Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny…
i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad. Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man? A:How do you breathe through that little thing?
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A:He only comes once a year.
My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you Coconut
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
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