Family jokes

I love you Hebrew john

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A little girl said to her mom "MOM MY BUTTS CRACKED KISS IT KISS IT"her mom said “sweetie SHUT UP ITS ALWAYS BEEN THERE” then her daughter died cuz of her melodramaticness.

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Daughter: Dad Dad: Yes honey Daughter: Im Lesbian Dad: Ok Daughter 2: Dad Dad: Yes? Daughter 2: Im lesbian too Dad: GOD does anyone like boys around here Son: I do…

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I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.

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My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.”

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I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.

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I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her. A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”. The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some

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A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late, his best friend asked, “Would you like to hear a joke?” “Sure” he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common? ’ “I don’t know.” “Because of me you’re both late for your next period.”

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My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. ushe told me that the was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.

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How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.

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Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…

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I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said “i am still choosing” she looked horrified

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the switch.

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The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked “What are you doing” and the Daughter replied “I wan’t the chocolate”

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