Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
So my teacher’s daughter commited suicide. One day Ima go up to her and say “What’s wrong did Logan Paul leave your daughter hangin’”.
I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time then, she asked me flirtatiously “have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?” I said, “Nope, not yet”. She drank a little more, and said, “well, darling, tonight is your lucky night.” So she took me to her place. She took out her keys opens her door turn on the light and she yells towards upstairs "Mom, are you still awake?”
roses are red violets are violets my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good piolet
Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent! Orphan: -no response-
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”
why do orphans eat cereal with water? because their dad never came home with the milk
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know. This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say “Dad I have to go to school soon”
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me? ! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not) and Michael Jackson’s song Billie Jean sounds like my name and so my mom says, as the song is playing, (my name) is not my daughter, she’s just a girl who claims that I am her mum. Wow. applauds for mother Love you momma =)
Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You’re welcome, Backseat.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
RUS | ENG
