Family jokes

What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters? Anna 1 Anna 2

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My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said “If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away.” the next time my Aunt visited she said “Where is you daughter? ” my Mom said “I took your advice”

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dark humor is like a dad not everyone gets it

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A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen’t to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered ‘SUPERMAN!!!’. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said "in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said ‘Ole Ole Ole!!!’. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. ‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!’, the teacher boomed. ‘Superman’, the boy replied. ‘WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!’, the teacher continued. ‘In the Barbie Dream House’ ‘GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE! !!’ ‘OLE OLE OLE OLE!’, the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

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My Mom said: I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied. Well i said: Have you seen her?

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Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

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If there is a divorce in West Virginia Are they still brother and Sister?

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Yo sis come here sis: what. Me: oh sorry you doing school sis: yup me can i go sis:no way you’re going to hug me me: i love you

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I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. ????

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How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!

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Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and whent up to her mom and asked “mom I have hair on my privates,what is it?” “OH honey thats your monkey.” The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says “my monkey has hair on it” so the sister replies with a laugh "you think thats cool my monkey is already eating bananas

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my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”

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Depression hits harder than my dad

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The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

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My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him ??????

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