So my dad said to me and my sister don’t fight but did he mean “fist fight” or “yelling fight?”
So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer…
I love you Hebrew john
As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed. The next day my dad tells me “Don’t worry son, I wasn’t hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister.” So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked “Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy.”
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Daughter: Mommy? Mom: Hey Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids? Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny…
Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands. So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.
my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”
When you’re f@cking your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A:He only comes once a year.
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