Family jokes

My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not) and Michael Jackson’s song Billie Jean sounds like my name and so my mom says, as the song is playing, (my name) is not my daughter, she’s just a girl who claims that I am her mum. Wow. applauds for mother Love you momma =)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out. “Oh no, Tom’s an idiot, what did he name my daughter?” she asked the nurse. “Denise.” “That’s not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?” “Tom Junior.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Daughter: Dad, what’s your opinion on abortions? Dad: Ask your sister Daughter: But I don’t have a sister Dad: Exactly

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do Chinese parents hate the most? A new born daughter…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm… Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom. ” Says the son. “The lie isn’t that your adopted.” Says the dad.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers? A virgin.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026