Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: tooth hurty Dad: all right
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a “no”. His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, “Why do you keep asking me to croak?” The granddaughter replies, “Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland.”
why do orphans eat cereal with water? because their dad never came home with the milk
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!
what is a lion call as a baby cocota
Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know! ?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um
My Mom said: I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied. Well i said: Have you seen her?
My friends daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
What makes a joke a dad joke? I don’t know. I don’t even have one as an example.
I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.
I told my friend yesterday he’s literally my dad. He didn’t show up for the rest of the year.
I love you Hebrew john
My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
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