Family jokes

Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

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I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you

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Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick

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I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said “Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”

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My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him ??????

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Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

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Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: tooth hurty Dad: all right

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Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

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What do you call you’re daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm? An ambulance

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Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night they don’t have a dad to go with.

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Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

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Corn and corn WHERE IS POPCORN!?!?!

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Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent! Orphan: -no response-

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My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa, I asked “Why is it because he gives people presents?” Jimmy told me “No it’s because I hear so many good things about him but and how he’s gonna come home, but never see him.”

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My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.

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