whats the difference between a lambo and a boner your sister didnt give me a lambo
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”
I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”
When you’re f@cking your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
Dad: how was your trip to the park? Daughter: it was good until the man came along. Dad: gasps whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened? Daughter: he made my friends go away so it was just me and him… then he took my dress off… Dad: oh God, what next? Daughter: Nothing, that was it. Dad: oh, come on! that wasn’t exciting, make something up!
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night they don’t have a dad to go with.
My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!
My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you Coconut
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.”
I told my friend yesterday he’s literally my dad. He didn’t show up for the rest of the year.
What do Chinese parents hate the most? A new born daughter…
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
daughter:dad why did mom do best? dad:nothing except pretend to love us and leave daughter:so she only loves my sister? dad:yep
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