I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, “Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween.”
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.
roses are red violets are violets my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good piolet
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness. Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!"
Sometimes i feel ugly, then i think of my sister and feel better
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings. Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.” “Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
My friends daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Daughter: Dad, what’s your opinion on abortions? Dad: Ask your sister Daughter: But I don’t have a sister Dad: Exactly
Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?” Father: "Ask your sister” Daughter: “I don’t have a…”
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
Why hasn’t my dad come back? No seriously I’m not joking
Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!
When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said “I used all the milk to make your sister”
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