Family jokes

Corn and corn WHERE IS POPCORN!?!?!

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Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands. So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

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A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!” The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!” Guess who dies next.

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a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers? Brother; because their beautiful! Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren’t. Brother:…

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So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

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jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

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So my dad said to me and my sister don’t fight but did he mean “fist fight” or “yelling fight?”

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Why did the brother cross the road? Because The Sister Farted.

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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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What’s the best part about plowing your cousin? -It makes your sister jealous

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My family is like a apple tree my sister is that ugly one that has to ruin in What do tampons and your sister have in common!

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Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.

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When I become a parent I’m gonna regergetate my food to feed my children. It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

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She was only a potato chip manufacturer "s daughter - by she was Frito Lay!

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What the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter? A-doll Hit-her! Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No… Girl: I am the principal’s daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No… Boy: Good! Walks away

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