Family jokes

My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.

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jack and jill went down to hell to fetch ur mothers bladder her bladder broke u two are soaked and now u have a daughter cuz in that bladder was me

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Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com

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I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.

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How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!

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I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her. A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”. The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some

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whats the difference between a lambo and a boner your sister didnt give me a lambo

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.

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My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward

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What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? Daddy

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What’s the best part about plowing your cousin? -It makes your sister jealous

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What makes a joke a dad joke? I don’t know. I don’t even have one as an example.

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i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad. Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man? A:How do you breathe through that little thing?

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