Family jokes

Father : I don’t trust you, You poured your seed in my daughter’s belly,. Son : But Paah you can’t fire me. Father: You’re lucky you’re my brother too or I’d kill you.

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The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked “What are you doing” and the Daughter replied “I wan’t the chocolate”

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My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama

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What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.

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Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and whent up to her mom and asked “mom I have hair on my privates,what is it?” “OH honey thats your monkey.” The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says “my monkey has hair on it” so the sister replies with a laugh "you think thats cool my monkey is already eating bananas

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My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him ??????

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What do you call you’re daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm? An ambulance

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My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!

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A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.

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%%Dad: “Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?” Son: “Nah, mostly men.” Dad: “Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”

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Dad: I’m giving all your toys to the orphanage Kid: Why are you doing that? Dad: So you won’t get bored there

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My sister’s bf is mad at me cuz I f@cked his girl

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The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier

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“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”

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My Daughter is Super Smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor

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