Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours
Q:Why did the father through butter out the window?A:he wanted to see a butterfly
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work… He’s a suicide bomber.
Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers? A virgin.
Corn and corn WHERE IS POPCORN!?!?!
Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?
There once was a brother and a sister so one night it’s storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I’m scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don’t tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks “what’s that?” And the boy replies with “that’s my pet snake” and the girl asks “can I pet it?” And the boy says “sure just don’t tell Mom” and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks “what happened” and the girl said “I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it’s head off” My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father’s son and your father’s father, you’re your own grandpa!
What do you call you’re daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm? An ambulance
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers? Brother; because their beautiful! Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren’t. Brother:…
My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I’ve ever made. Then I realize “My daughter isn’t THAT bad…”
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