Family jokes

My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due his skill in disappearing.

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Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I’ve ever made. Then I realize “My daughter isn’t THAT bad…”

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Once my sister was a sister now shes a blister

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You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father’s son and your father’s father, you’re your own grandpa!

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why do orphans eat cereal with water? because their dad never came home with the milk

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Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

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So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready

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I love you Hebrew john

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Q: what’s worst fingerbanging your sister? A: finding your dads wedding ring

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Why did the Santa go to work because he was just trying out the work ????

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what’s the difference between Nemo and my dad? Nemo was eventually found.

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What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

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As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed. The next day my dad tells me “Don’t worry son, I wasn’t hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister.” So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked “Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy.”

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A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

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Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the the sower you can’t even see it. Guy: No I see your sister’s head

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