Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.” I once heard my dad shout I’m going to be like frozen and let it go then I heard a gunshot
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home. They got in the car, and his mother asked "Johnny, what did you do this time? So johnny pulled his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” Once they got home his dad was off work and heard that johnny was coming home early from school, once again he asked johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” After that, his dad was surprised so his dad pulled down his pants and said “Big whale, big whale.”
If there is a divorce in West Virginia Are they still brother and Sister?
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
What the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter? A-doll Hit-her! Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No… Girl: I am the principal’s daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No… Boy: Good! Walks away
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
I was at a friends place yesterday, and… There was A mother, father, three sons, and a daughter. That night the mother and father started f@cking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house. An hour later they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep. So I looked in the brothers room and all three brothers were f@cking the sister. I sighed at this. “Incest aside. You guys make a cute family.” I started, “So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?” They stopped instantly and went to sleep. “Thank you.” I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphans dad? The clock comes back around.
Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker. The weekly family zoom call went well enough…until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little…plump. By the 20th week the 16 year old’s shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr old’s belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets. So the father waited until he’d talked to his wife and daughters, and then asked if he could talk to his son alone. “Look, I know your mom and the girls are all pregnant. I’m not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don’t have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?” “No, Pop, we haven’t seen anyone since we left the city,” his son told him earnestly. “And we sure haven’t gone into town for supplies, I ran out of condoms on the second day here!”
Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.
Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don’t have a …
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005
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