Family jokes

Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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So a daughter goes to her dad and says “daddy can I borrow the car?” He the tells her “you know what to do”. So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust and says “ugh tastes like shit” her dad then said “damn I forgot your brother took the car”

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When I become a parent I’m gonna regergetate my food to feed my children. It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

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You want to hear a dirty joke? This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m f@cking my sister” and hangs up the phone

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I would name my daughter awesome so I can tell people that I’m f@cking awesome.

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Daughter: Dad, what’s your opinion on abortions? Dad: Ask your sister Daughter: But I don’t have a sister Dad: Exactly

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So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”

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So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

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Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?” Father: "Ask your sister” Daughter: “I don’t have a…”

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A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a “no”. His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, “Why do you keep asking me to croak?” The granddaughter replies, “Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland.”

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Why does sally have a 100 sisters? She lives in a orphanage

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Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

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The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

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In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me

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Knock knock who there interrupting cow interrupting cow moo ??????????????????

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