Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night they don’t have a dad to go with.
You know whats the worst about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull her hair when you hit it from the back “Dad, how do stars die?” – “Usually an overdose.”
y do orphans eat cereal with water there dad did not come back with the milk
%%Dad: “Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?” Son: “Nah, mostly men.” Dad: “Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”
When I become a parent I’m gonna regergetate my food to feed my children. It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
“I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry”
Daughter: Mommy? Mom: Hey Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids? Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny…
What makes a joke a dad joke? I don’t know. I don’t even have one as an example.
So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”
Dad: What did you learn in school today? Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.
Who named their daughter Macadamia? A couple of nuts.
One day I came home from school and said to my dad ‘I got expelled from school today’ he said ’ how’ I said I threw my book at the teacher’ he asked why’ I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program htm title=' so I threw my dictionary at her. ’'>and my teacher said words can’t hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. ’
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew tumed up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family’s 5.year.old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and ll spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. "mey chatted with her, let her slt with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little lobs to do here and there to make her feel Important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a poy envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $1 0 "pay ’ to the bank the next day to start a savings account When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally Impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, ‘l worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.’ ‘Oh, my goodness gracious,’ said the teller, ‘and will you be working on the house again this week, too?’ The little girl replied, "l will, it those assholes at Lowe’s ever deliver the tucking sheet rock ’
What’s the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
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