When Bubba’s condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She’s got my sister’s eyes.
jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up
my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked “where are your sisters?” i said “in line to get crushed”
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
What’s the worst part of Breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it. I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
A little girl said to her mom "MOM MY BUTTS CRACKED KISS IT KISS IT"her mom said “sweetie SHUT UP ITS ALWAYS BEEN THERE” then her daughter died cuz of her melodramaticness.
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters? Anna 1 Anna 2
my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma’am this item is worthless "
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
My sister thinks shes so smart she said only and onion can make you cry so i brought the belt out and she started crying
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.
RUS | ENG
