Family jokes

Q: what’s worst fingerbanging your sister? A: finding your dads wedding ring

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My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away

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What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette

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Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too. By:Xzavier

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Why does sally have a 100 sisters? She lives in a orphanage

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Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got the see either of them and they are now extinct

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My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up

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My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

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What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister? You better not Leia finger on her!

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My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

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So there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, what is one plus one? She said I HATE YOU. Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, My buns are burning. Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Bobby said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! The principal yelled, HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?! Then he said, 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, my buns are burning.

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The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

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My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005

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Why did the Santa go to work because he was just trying out the work ????

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Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid. Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA

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