Fight jokes

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

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What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean? “oh my God, you’re such a beach”

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I don’t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single I fight with my parents but you don’t see me change my status to Orphan

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One weekend some distant family members that I hadn’t met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn’t met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help). My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes, and told me they both ended up dying. Well, SO-RRY but I didnt know they’re conjoined twins.

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my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time

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A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, “You’re adopted.” Then the sister replies, “At least they wanted me!” The brother yells back, “Well at first, when they didn’t know you’d turn out like this.”

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My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

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Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts

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Q: Why do clowns always get into fights? A:Because they have the balls to.

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An handicap and an orphan get into a fight the orphan says at least I have two functional legs the handicap at least two functional parents

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I’m the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah. Now for my joke… Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands…

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Little Johnny walked into his parents room to see them going at it.He asked his mom what they were doing and she said uh were play fighting and he’s like with no clothes on and she said yeah and so he said let me join you then… Two friends were walking in a forest they started to fight. A cannibal came and shouted food fight!

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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Best way to stop a fight between deaf people? Just turn off the Lights

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Why couldnt proffessor xavier fight magneto? because he couldnt stand up for himself

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