Fight jokes

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One weekend some distant family members that I hadn’t met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn’t met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help). My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes, and told me they both ended up dying. Well, SO-RRY but I didnt know they’re conjoined twins.

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Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts

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I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. – The odds were against me.

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? – Because the octopus was well armed.

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Why were condoms invented, so gay guys can have sword fights.

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“Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!” “What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!” “They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!”

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When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

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i hate it when couples get into a little fight and the change their Facebook status to “single”. i have fights with my parents but I don’t change my Facebook status to “orphan”.

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