Fight jokes

How do you start a fight in space? “Comet me bro.”

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What’s the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight? When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren’t at a UFC event, you’re watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

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I’m the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah. Now for my joke… Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands…

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I don’t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single I fight with my parents but you don’t see me change my status to Orphan

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Hey~ How ya doin’?~ Well I’m doin’ just fine~ I lied~ I’m DEAD inside~ Don’t~ Tell me ‘it’s gonna be alright’~ I’ve tried, but I can’t fight like this~ Hey how ya doin’, I’m tired but I’m trying to fight~

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What do you call it when 2 Mexican’s fight ? Juan on Juan do you know why the cake doesn’t ever fight anyone? he says “take a peace of that!” while entering a fight.

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My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

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Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight? JFK: Well, I’d give them a piece of my mind.

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What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green? Three zebras fighting over a pickle.

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“Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!” “What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!” “They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!”

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If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

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Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.

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What do you call two Mexicans fighting? Juan on juan

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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What the the vegetable say to the other before the fight? Time to beet your maker.

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