Fight jokes

i hate it when couples get into a little fight and the change their Facebook status to “single”. i have fights with my parents but I don’t change my Facebook status to “orphan”.

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What’s the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight? When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren’t at a UFC event, you’re watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

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I got in a cage fight the hampster dident cnow wat hit him

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When you have to fight an emo kid but he brings his friends so you gotta fight the suicide squad. But you gotta get da bois to help you

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, “Why are you beating him up?” I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, “Well, how did I do?”

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Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting? A: Because they were fencing.

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What the the vegetable say to the other before the fight? Time to beet your maker.

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If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be “Alien vs Predator”?

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Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. “The’re in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes.”

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Things you never want to do in jail never piss off an inmate don’t start fights with the cops don’t drop the soap don’t run away from the cops

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why did the dog cause the fight because it was a bulldog

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Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

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North Korea and the martians were fighting about who was going the reach venus first. Trump steps in and says " That doesn’t matter american is going to land on the sun first". The martians and North Korea said “you can’t land on the sun it’s to hot and you will die”. Trump said his brilliant plan that “America is going to land their at night”.

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The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight soon they will make up

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