Fight jokes

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean? “oh my God, you’re such a beach”

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What do gay people call fighting it cant be beef so… Carrots???

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Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts

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Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts

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If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

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how do you get two deaf people from fighting? turn off the lights and walk out.

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What do you call it when a Mexican and a Pedophile fight each other? Alien vs Predator

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What are some another names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle” but then there’s my personal favorite “f@ck fight”

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what war did africa not win? The water fight

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In america, you fight Ukraine. In soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

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What the the vegetable say to the other before the fight? Time to beet your maker.

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An handicap and an orphan get into a fight the orphan says at least I have two functional legs the handicap at least two functional parents

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Hey~ How ya doin’?~ Well I’m doin’ just fine~ I lied~ I’m DEAD inside~ Don’t~ Tell me ‘it’s gonna be alright’~ I’ve tried, but I can’t fight like this~ Hey how ya doin’, I’m tired but I’m trying to fight~

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight? JFK: Well, I’d give them a piece of my mind.

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