Fight jokes

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight? JFK: Well, I’d give them a piece of my mind.

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How did Stephen hawking die. He lost a water gun fight

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If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be “Alien vs Predator”?

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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Why couldnt proffessor xavier fight magneto? because he couldnt stand up for himself

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If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

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Mom says : I will go kill myself Me : stays quite cuz knows better than to talk also me internally eyerolls Some time later me fighting with my mom Me to my mom : OH YEA THAN KILL ME Mom : What the hell did you just say I don’t want to hear it from u again Lesson? SO ITS OK FOR ADULTS TO SAY I’LL KILL MYSELF BUT NOT TEENS/KIDS!?!?! If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don’t bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want. They believe they are equal to men right? So they are able to fight back right? Then prove it! My EQUALITEHHHHHHHH

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Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive! This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)

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When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

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