Fight jokes

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”

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If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

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Hey~ How ya doin’?~ Well I’m doin’ just fine~ I lied~ I’m DEAD inside~ Don’t~ Tell me ‘it’s gonna be alright’~ I’ve tried, but I can’t fight like this~ Hey how ya doin’, I’m tired but I’m trying to fight~

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Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man

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I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone. My dad and cancer go into a fight never saw my dad after that

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Mom says : I will go kill myself Me : stays quite cuz knows better than to talk also me internally eyerolls Some time later me fighting with my mom Me to my mom : OH YEA THAN KILL ME Mom : What the hell did you just say I don’t want to hear it from u again Lesson? SO ITS OK FOR ADULTS TO SAY I’LL KILL MYSELF BUT NOT TEENS/KIDS!?!?! If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don’t bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want. They believe they are equal to men right? So they are able to fight back right? Then prove it! My EQUALITEHHHHHHHH

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I’m just gonna say it. And don’t get offended but I’m so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male. Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc. But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions. Men have to go to war on the front lines. Boys have less

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support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness. Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven’t ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It’s because no one will take a man’s protest seriously because the media is always against the men. Man-rape is unheard of in the media and I’ve never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist. We are expected to gather up our guts ask a girl to be their girlfriend, we have to take them on dates, pay the bill, buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months worth of the money the man has made. And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars. It’s because most males do not want females to get hurt. Yet we are criticised for this. I propose a idea that on the 19 of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work. etc. Whose going to put out all the fires? The two fire’women’ at the local fire station. Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary’s and the receptionist? Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they’re are no men around. Let’s show them how wrong they are. (this event can be done worldwide) Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males. (I’m not against feminism it’s just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere. But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want and never get criticised or face any consequences.)

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Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive! This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)

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