Fight jokes

What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green? Three zebras fighting over a pickle.

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When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

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Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive! This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)

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North Korea and the martians were fighting about who was going the reach venus first. Trump steps in and says " That doesn’t matter american is going to land on the sun first". The martians and North Korea said “you can’t land on the sun it’s to hot and you will die”. Trump said his brilliant plan that “America is going to land their at night”.

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If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

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Why were condoms invented, so gay guys can have sword fights.

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Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????

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I’m just gonna say it. And don’t get offended but I’m so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male. Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc. But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions. Men have to go to war on the front lines. Boys have less

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If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be “Alien vs Predator”?

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What’s the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight? When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren’t at a UFC event, you’re watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

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19 and 20 had a fight. 21.

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i hate it when couples get into a little fight and the change their Facebook status to “single”. i have fights with my parents but I don’t change my Facebook status to “orphan”.

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Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. “The’re in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes.”

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One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, “Why are you beating him up?” I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, “Well, how did I do?”

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One weekend some distant family members that I hadn’t met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn’t met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help). My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes, and told me they both ended up dying. Well, SO-RRY but I didnt know they’re conjoined twins.

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