Fight jokes

So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

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Hey~ How ya doin’?~ Well I’m doin’ just fine~ I lied~ I’m DEAD inside~ Don’t~ Tell me ‘it’s gonna be alright’~ I’ve tried, but I can’t fight like this~ Hey how ya doin’, I’m tired but I’m trying to fight~

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If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be “Alien vs Predator”?

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The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight soon they will make up

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how do you get two deaf people from fighting? turn off the lights and walk out.

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I don’t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single I fight with my parents but you don’t see me change my status to Orphan

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What do you call it when a Mexican and a Pedophile fight each other? Alien vs Predator

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i hate it when couples get into a little fight and the change their Facebook status to “single”. i have fights with my parents but I don’t change my Facebook status to “orphan”.

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Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts

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What are some another names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle” but then there’s my personal favorite “f@ck fight”

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Things you never want to do in jail never piss off an inmate don’t start fights with the cops don’t drop the soap don’t run away from the cops

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I’m just gonna say it. And don’t get offended but I’m so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male. Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc. But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions. Men have to go to war on the front lines. Boys have less

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What do you ca an Irish man that breaks up fights? Liam Malone

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Why couldnt proffessor xavier fight magneto? because he couldnt stand up for himself

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