Fight jokes

The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight soon they will make up

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Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running. Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda look like me.

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Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

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When you have to fight an emo kid but he brings his friends so you gotta fight the suicide squad. But you gotta get da bois to help you

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So there were kids in the bus and half of them were white and the other half was black, all the kids wanted to sit at the back so the bus driver said to all the kids stop fighting from now on everyone is now green, so the bus driver said to all the kids dark green go to the front and light green at the back.

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how do you get two deaf people from fighting? turn off the lights and walk out.

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What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green? Three zebras fighting over a pickle.

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I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. – The odds were against me.

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so i saw two homeless people on the road fight i said stop fighting and go home i gess it was a little insensitive

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why are we still fighting in darkness? mission failed soldier we will get em next time.

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I don’t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single I fight with my parents but you don’t see me change my status to Orphan

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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Q: Why do clowns always get into fights? A:Because they have the balls to.

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A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”

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Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting? A: Because they were fencing.

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