Fight jokes

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. – The odds were against me.

-2

-1

* * *

I’m just gonna say it. And don’t get offended but I’m so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male. Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc. But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions. Men have to go to war on the front lines. Boys have less

See more... (about 1 min.reading)

support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness. Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven’t ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It’s because no one will take a man’s protest seriously because the media is always against the men. Man-rape is unheard of in the media and I’ve never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist. We are expected to gather up our guts ask a girl to be their girlfriend, we have to take them on dates, pay the bill, buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months worth of the money the man has made. And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars. It’s because most males do not want females to get hurt. Yet we are criticised for this. I propose a idea that on the 19 of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work. etc. Whose going to put out all the fires? The two fire’women’ at the local fire station. Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary’s and the receptionist? Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they’re are no men around. Let’s show them how wrong they are. (this event can be done worldwide) Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males. (I’m not against feminism it’s just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere. But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want and never get criticised or face any consequences.)

-2

-1

Little Johnny walked into his parents room to see them going at it.He asked his mom what they were doing and she said uh were play fighting and he’s like with no clothes on and she said yeah and so he said let me join you then… Two friends were walking in a forest they started to fight. A cannibal came and shouted food fight!

-2

-1

* * *

I’m the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah. Now for my joke… Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands…

-2

-1

* * *

So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

-2

-1

* * *

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, “You’re adopted.” Then the sister replies, “At least they wanted me!” The brother yells back, “Well at first, when they didn’t know you’d turn out like this.”

-2

-1

* * *

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. “The’re in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes.”

-2

-1

* * *

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.