Fight jokes

So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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So my dad said to me and my sister don’t fight but did he mean “fist fight” or “yelling fight?”

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Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight? JFK: Well, I’d give them a piece of my mind.

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Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts

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So there were kids in the bus and half of them were white and the other half was black, all the kids wanted to sit at the back so the bus driver said to all the kids stop fighting from now on everyone is now green, so the bus driver said to all the kids dark green go to the front and light green at the back.

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I don’t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single I fight with my parents but you don’t see me change my status to Orphan

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Yo mama, so ugly she’s the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

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In america, you fight Ukraine. In soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

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how do you break up blind people in a fight? scream i put my money on the guy with the knife

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What do gay people call fighting it cant be beef so… Carrots???

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What are some another names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle” but then there’s my personal favorite “f@ck fight”

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An handicap and an orphan get into a fight the orphan says at least I have two functional legs the handicap at least two functional parents

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I’m just gonna say it. And don’t get offended but I’m so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male. Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc. But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions. Men have to go to war on the front lines. Boys have less

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The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight soon they will make up

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Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. “The’re in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes.”

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