Fight jokes

i hate it when couples get into a little fight and the change their Facebook status to “single”. i have fights with my parents but I don’t change my Facebook status to “orphan”.

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My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

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How did Stephen hawking die. He lost a water gun fight

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Little Johnny walked into his parents room to see them going at it.He asked his mom what they were doing and she said uh were play fighting and he’s like with no clothes on and she said yeah and so he said let me join you then… Two friends were walking in a forest they started to fight. A cannibal came and shouted food fight!

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What are some another names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle” but then there’s my personal favorite “f@ck fight”

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Mom says : I will go kill myself Me : stays quite cuz knows better than to talk also me internally eyerolls Some time later me fighting with my mom Me to my mom : OH YEA THAN KILL ME Mom : What the hell did you just say I don’t want to hear it from u again Lesson? SO ITS OK FOR ADULTS TO SAY I’LL KILL MYSELF BUT NOT TEENS/KIDS!?!?! If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don’t bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want. They believe they are equal to men right? So they are able to fight back right? Then prove it! My EQUALITEHHHHHHHH

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Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: oh right you don’t have one laughs Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right you don’t have a real life. INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS 2021-2022

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”

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