Fight jokes

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, “Why are you beating him up?” I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, “Well, how did I do?”

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i hate it when couples get into a little fight and the change their Facebook status to “single”. i have fights with my parents but I don’t change my Facebook status to “orphan”.

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A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”

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Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? – Because the octopus was well armed.

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I’m just gonna say it. And don’t get offended but I’m so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male. Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc. But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions. Men have to go to war on the front lines. Boys have less

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Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man

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Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.

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Little Johnny walked into his parents room to see them going at it.He asked his mom what they were doing and she said uh were play fighting and he’s like with no clothes on and she said yeah and so he said let me join you then… Two friends were walking in a forest they started to fight. A cannibal came and shouted food fight!

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When I was young I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back. Except they didn’t get back up.

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Why couldnt proffessor xavier fight magneto? because he couldnt stand up for himself

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Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????

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One weekend some distant family members that I hadn’t met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn’t met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help). My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes, and told me they both ended up dying. Well, SO-RRY but I didnt know they’re conjoined twins.

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