Fight jokes

why did the dog cause the fight because it was a bulldog

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What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting? I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

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Best way to stop a fight between deaf people? Just turn off the Lights

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Little Johnny walked into his parents room to see them going at it.He asked his mom what they were doing and she said uh were play fighting and he’s like with no clothes on and she said yeah and so he said let me join you then… Two friends were walking in a forest they started to fight. A cannibal came and shouted food fight!

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? – Because the octopus was well armed.

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Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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When ur fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now u gotta fight the suicide squd

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Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting? A: Because they were fencing.

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so i saw two homeless people on the road fight i said stop fighting and go home i gess it was a little insensitive

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What do you call it when a Mexican and a Pedophile fight each other? Alien vs Predator

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In america, you fight Ukraine. In soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

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Hey~ How ya doin’?~ Well I’m doin’ just fine~ I lied~ I’m DEAD inside~ Don’t~ Tell me ‘it’s gonna be alright’~ I’ve tried, but I can’t fight like this~ Hey how ya doin’, I’m tired but I’m trying to fight~

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When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

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The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight soon they will make up

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