Fight jokes

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, “your adopted” the sister yells back, “At least they wanted me!”

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In america, you fight Ukraine. In soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

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If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

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Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight? JFK: Well, I’d give them a piece of my mind.

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Yo mama, so ugly she’s the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

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What is it called when Bill Cosby and a illegal immigrant fight? Aliens vs. Predator

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my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time

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What do you ca an Irish man that breaks up fights? Liam Malone

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what do you call 6 gay men having a fight? Rainbow six siege

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I’m just gonna say it. And don’t get offended but I’m so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male. Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc. But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions. Men have to go to war on the front lines. Boys have less

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support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness. Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven’t ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It’s because no one will take a man’s protest seriously because the media is always against the men. Man-rape is unheard of in the media and I’ve never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist. We are expected to gather up our guts ask a girl to be their girlfriend, we have to take them on dates, pay the bill, buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months worth of the money the man has made. And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars. It’s because most males do not want females to get hurt. Yet we are criticised for this. I propose a idea that on the 19 of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work. etc. Whose going to put out all the fires? The two fire’women’ at the local fire station. Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary’s and the receptionist? Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they’re are no men around. Let’s show them how wrong they are. (this event can be done worldwide) Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males. (I’m not against feminism it’s just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere. But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want and never get criticised or face any consequences.)

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i hate it when couples get into a little fight and the change their Facebook status to “single”. i have fights with my parents but I don’t change my Facebook status to “orphan”.

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What’s the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight? When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren’t at a UFC event, you’re watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

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Q: Why do clowns always get into fights? A:Because they have the balls to.