Green jokes

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

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What’s green, red and spins at 4000rpm? A frog in a blender

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Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone, “Boo.” “Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?” Jack sat down next to her and smiled. “I figured today was a

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This dude right here don’t look nothing like no damn tyrese gibson. He look like a hot fishy tail termite all dress in green makeup.

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What is the difference between a climate change and the green house effect once a philosopher twice a sodomite

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What do you call a green boner the Grintch

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My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn’t ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn’t mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn’t seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn’t digest the stress I guess :D

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if trump colored his hair green and weared a orange shirt and pants i will call him a carrot

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how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

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I could be red I could be orange I could be yellow I could be green, I could be blue I could be purple but I would be dead

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What’s green and smells like ham. Kermit the frogs fingers

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What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad? The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

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Person A:Hey,what’s the next subject? Person B:Let me check. Person B:It’s greenglish!

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What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds? Kermit in a car crash.

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Why do people not play uno with Mexicans… because they are always stealing the green cards

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