Green jokes

this joke is so funny I’ll bet you greened (grined)

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Whats green and sticky? … a stick.

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What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later

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I could be red I could be orange I could be yellow I could be green, I could be blue I could be purple but I would be dead

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What’s green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What do you call a green camel. My parents left me.

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What’s red,Green and goes 90 miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours…

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The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

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what terns green purple and white? A chameleon

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how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

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what is green grass you tard

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There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard

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Whats green and furry Fiona from Shrek

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Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs finger.

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