Green jokes

Why are Chinese so good at jay-walking? Cause they can’t tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.

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A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

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What’s green and smells like pork? Kermit’s finger

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What’s red and green and go’s 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender…

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My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn’t ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn’t mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn’t seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn’t digest the stress I guess :D

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what terns green purple and white? A chameleon

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This dude right here don’t look nothing like no damn tyrese gibson. He look like a hot fishy tail termite all dress in green makeup.

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Hoow on god’s green earth does my boyfriend have a phone? JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU’LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

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Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone, “Boo.” “Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?” Jack sat down next to her and smiled. “I figured today was a

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Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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What’s red,Green and goes 90 miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What is blue, green, flat and has teeth. The earth but I lied about the teeth

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Why did the carrots laugh? They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

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what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs? …a girl scout that got hit by a car

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