Green jokes

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks… “Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?” “Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That’s why grandpa has to take the blue pills.”

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f@ck the green bay packers

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I could be red I could be orange I could be yellow I could be green, I could be blue I could be purple but I would be dead

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What’s red,Green and goes 90 miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Person A:Hey,what’s the next subject? Person B:Let me check. Person B:It’s greenglish!

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Ur the bus driver, the busy driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven picks up a women with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and burried his mother. Who’s the bus driver You will never nose

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Everytime i come in the kitchen my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food like the fried chicken the mashed potatoes the collard greens mac and cheese and the corn bread. Then i said i wanna eat some of that shit i love soul food then i told her you keep it up your fat ass is going to big like house on a haunted hill.

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What’s a green cucumber……. A carrot

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I found alien in my backyard I put him to work. He went to farm never seen him again moments later he is on daily planet acting as reporter a green rock smashed my house. I called him back he passed out. I remarked you lazy

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What did the the purple grape say to the green grape? "BREATH YOU IDIOT BREATH!" Geddit? GeeditTT?

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe… Breathe…

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Green beans potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me

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Whats green and sticky? … a stick.

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Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone, “Boo.” “Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?” Jack sat down next to her and smiled. “I figured today was a

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