Green jokes

what turns green to red in a flick of a switch?A frog in a blender.

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Whats green and sticky? … a stick.

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Shrek and the Hulk became politicians And they created The Green Party

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What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds? Kermit in a car crash.

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There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard

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what terns green purple and white? A chameleon

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Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours…

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Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks… “Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?” “Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That’s why grandpa has to take the blue pills.”

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Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal part the balloon came out green.

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What’s green and smells like bacon? Kermit’s finger.

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What did the the purple grape say to the green grape? "BREATH YOU IDIOT BREATH!" Geddit? GeeditTT?

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Hoow on god’s green earth does my boyfriend have a phone? JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU’LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

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What’s red green and smells like shit …red and green shit

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Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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