Green jokes

What is 14 inches long and starts with D A Dookie From GREEN DAY

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What’s green and smells like ham. Kermit the frogs fingers

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What’s a green cucumber……. A carrot

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What’s big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you? A pool table.

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Things said by racist aliens: “Some of my best friends are Green.” “I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship.” “You’re very pretty for a Purple girl.” “We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!” “Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people.” “You 2-headed people are so stupid!” “No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes.” “Get the hell out of my store you grigger!” “The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let’s burn some spaceships on the Greenies’ lawns!”

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Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road? Because they will get turned into a pancake even more its not funny i know

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I found alien in my backyard I put him to work. He went to farm never seen him again moments later he is on daily planet acting as reporter a green rock smashed my house. I called him back he passed out. I remarked you lazy

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There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard

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What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later

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Hoow on god’s green earth does my boyfriend have a phone? JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU’LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

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Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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What’s red and green and go’s 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender…

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When do you go on red and stop at green A watermelon

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what turns green to red in a flick of a switch?A frog in a blender.

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