how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks… “Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?” “Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That’s why grandpa has to take the blue pills.”
What’s green and smells like ham. Kermit the frogs fingers
What’s green and smells like pork? Kermit’s finger
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe… Breathe…
A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad? The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
What’s red green and smells like shit …red and green shit
Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal part the balloon came out green.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens? Lettuce eat brussels!
What Football Club das Mason green wood play for? Prison Fc
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
what is green and looks like a school bus a school bus
Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours…
RUS | ENG
