Green jokes

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What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick. What’s invisible and bad for you to breath? Mustard gas. What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste

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I could be red I could be orange I could be yellow I could be green, I could be blue I could be purple but I would be dead

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Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road? Because they will get turned into a pancake even more its not funny i know

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Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.) I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can’t be trusted). I gatherd some slapies. The things I gatherd where Tomatos, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried out green beans! all that stuff! To the 4. I need the tomatos to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish…WRONG!!! I am going to make it into a little snack…anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eye’s cry and burn but I will give them a towl after that. The dried out green beens are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that we make it like its not so iky! I feed it to them! They overreacted! Please leave a comment. Byee!

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There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard

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if red get vote out whit happed red is not vote red is a hacker so he kill blue ok so some one fondy blue boddy red sud where lime and green and prup sud how is red not die red am a hacker u noobs lime and grenn and prup run red killd therem all red the win but he is not the win black killd red black is the win lol

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Why did the carrots laugh? They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

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Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours…

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what fruit is square and green? a lemon in disguise

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Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone, “Boo.” “Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?” Jack sat down next to her and smiled. “I figured today was a

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The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

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What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds? Kermit in a car crash.

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What NFL teams parts with James Charles!? Green bay packers & New England Patriots

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