Green jokes

What’s a green cucumber……. A carrot

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Why did the camle cross the road Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass

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What did the green light say to the red light - don’t look I’m changing

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There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard

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Whats green and sticky? … a stick.

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whats green and sings? ELVIS PARSELY!!!

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My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn’t ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn’t mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn’t seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn’t digest the stress I guess :D

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What has ten children crying, naked and screaming for their parents My big green pedo machine

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what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs? …a girl scout that got hit by a car

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Stephen Hawking is intelligent. He is not as green as he is cabbage.

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So there were kids in the bus and half of them were white and the other half was black, all the kids wanted to sit at the back so the bus driver said to all the kids stop fighting from now on everyone is now green, so the bus driver said to all the kids dark green go to the front and light green at the back.

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Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours…

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What did the the purple grape say to the green grape? "BREATH YOU IDIOT BREATH!" Geddit? GeeditTT?

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Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs finger.

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Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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