Green jokes

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn’t ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn’t mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn’t seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn’t digest the stress I guess :D

What did the green light say to the red light - don’t look I’m changing

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds? Kermit in a car crash.

Whats green and sticky? … a stick.

Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road? Because they will get turned into a pancake even more its not funny i know

Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone, “Boo.” “Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?” Jack sat down next to her and smiled. “I figured today was a

what is green grass you tard

What is 14 inches long and starts with D A Dookie From GREEN DAY

What’s big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you? A pool table.

What’s red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing on a razor blade. What’s green and sits in the corner? Same baby, one week later.

what fruit is square and green? a lemon in disguise

Your hairline is so far back that green lantern became blue torch Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. “Doctor, I’m not feeling well” the man complains. " Well, it’s no wonder" The Doctor replies " You’re not eating right"