Green jokes

Whats green and furry Fiona from Shrek

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I found alien in my backyard I put him to work. He went to farm never seen him again moments later he is on daily planet acting as reporter a green rock smashed my house. I called him back he passed out. I remarked you lazy

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What’s a green cucumber……. A carrot

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What has ten children crying, naked and screaming for their parents My big green pedo machine

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There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard

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What do you call a green camel. My parents left me.

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Green beans potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me

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what terns green purple and white? A chameleon

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Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours…

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Your hairline is so far back that green lantern became blue torch Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. “Doctor, I’m not feeling well” the man complains. " Well, it’s no wonder" The Doctor replies " You’re not eating right"

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Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs finger.

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What’s green and smells like pork? Kermit’s finger

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What’s green and smells like bacon? Kermit’s finger.

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Things said by racist aliens: “Some of my best friends are Green.” “I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship.” “You’re very pretty for a Purple girl.” “We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!” “Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people.” “You 2-headed people are so stupid!” “No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes.” “Get the hell out of my store you grigger!” “The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let’s burn some spaceships on the Greenies’ lawns!”

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what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs? …a girl scout that got hit by a car

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