Green jokes

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I found alien in my backyard I put him to work. He went to farm never seen him again moments later he is on daily planet acting as reporter a green rock smashed my house. I called him back he passed out. I remarked you lazy

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Why did the camle cross the road Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass

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What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

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Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, Brown and yellow? So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms

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So there were kids in the bus and half of them were white and the other half was black, all the kids wanted to sit at the back so the bus driver said to all the kids stop fighting from now on everyone is now green, so the bus driver said to all the kids dark green go to the front and light green at the back.

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What is Green and red and goes round and round? A frog in a blender (this next one is pretty bad, and I don’t mean it, so don’t get offended) What’s the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support an average family

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There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard

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What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick. What’s invisible and bad for you to breath? Mustard gas. What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste

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What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later

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A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

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What do you call a green camel. My parents left me.

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