Green jokes

Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road? Because they will get turned into a pancake even more its not funny i know

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


What’s red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing on a razor blade. What’s green and sits in the corner? Same baby, one week later.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds? Kermit in a car crash.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says “is there a problem boyoh?”. “I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!”. The man reply’s “I’m a leprechaun”. “Really?” says the man. “That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper”. “Anything I want?! 3 of them?” reply’s the man. “Anything in your wildest dreams boyoh, but you have to let me finish”. The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts in in, thrusting back and forth he asks for the man’s first wish. “I want a giant yacht” “Aye”, says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now”. “For my second wish I want a billion dollars” the man says, beginning to sweat. “Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you” the leprechaun reply’s. “Okay”, the man groans in pain. “For my final wish I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women”. “You betcha boyoh” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW” as he lets out a moan of pleasure. The man exhausted and sore says “that was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?” The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene’s children? Artifical vanilla come from a beaver’s asshole, the children from an asshole’s beaver.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026