What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground? Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff. But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?’ ""Yes madam…My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher. “My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.” Pin drop silence in the class !! ""Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ? ” “Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```…!!!”
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone… He got hit by a train
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn’t hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
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