a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left? Teacher: 502. Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!! Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door. Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door. Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion? Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge. Teacher: WOW! Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How? Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth? Student:The gators are at the party. Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why? Teacher:She drowned?! Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.
What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
Depression hits harder than my dad
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
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