Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home
What do you do when your dish washer stops working Hit your wife harder
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said “it’s a deer.” The other said it “No it’s a coyote.” The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.
A baby skunk’s mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn’t know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks ‘What are you?’, the baby bunny replies ‘Well I’m a baby bunny. What are you?’ the baby skunk says "Well I don’t know am I a baby bunny too?" the baby bunny says ‘No you’re not a baby bunny.’ so the baby skunk asks "Well what am I then?" the baby bunny replies ‘Well you’re not exactly blank and you’re not exactly white so you must be Mexican.’
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left? Teacher: 502. Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!! Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door. Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door. Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion? Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge. Teacher: WOW! Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How? Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth? Student:The gators are at the party. Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why? Teacher:She drowned?! Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
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