Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
making fun of someone you’re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground? Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
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