Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone… He got hit by a train
Why didn’t Sally get home from work. She got hit by a bus
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
i never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
making fun of someone you’re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
RUS | ENG
