What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
making fun of someone you’re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
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