What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide? Dave: No. Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
A baby skunk’s mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn’t know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks ‘What are you?’, the baby bunny replies ‘Well I’m a baby bunny. What are you?’ the baby skunk says "Well I don’t know am I a baby bunny too?" the baby bunny says ‘No you’re not a baby bunny.’ so the baby skunk asks "Well what am I then?" the baby bunny replies ‘Well you’re not exactly blank and you’re not exactly white so you must be Mexican.’
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates. When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming
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