Why did i walk across the road? to get hit by a car
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
tell a dark joke to an orphan then hit them they’ll get the punchline right away
I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down
Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home
Why did the kid drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
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