When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale
What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die :) ?
Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates. When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming
i never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
Why couldn’t Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn’t Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn’t Sally pick up the box? (Friend: Some weird guess) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms? ) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who’s there?) Not Sally.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
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