Hit jokes

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So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready

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Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn’t hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.

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titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

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What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor

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friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

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