Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left? Teacher: 502. Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!! Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door. Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door. Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion? Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge. Teacher: WOW! Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How? Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth? Student:The gators are at the party. Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why? Teacher:She drowned?! Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
What do you do when your dish washer stops working Hit your wife harder
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
Q: what’s stronger than family? A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
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