My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone… He got hit by a train
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die :) ?
i never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me
Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home
I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
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