any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates. When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die :) ?
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
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